like it hurts. I almost offer to take care of it for him, but I suspect Grayson will have his own ideas about it. I’m not so greedy to deny my husband that, especially not when this is apparently goodbye. One last hurrah because Derek doesn’t believe we can make a go of this. I’m not sure I blame him. What are the odds we could make it work? Unconventional doesn’t begin to cover it. We might have a chance with all three of us onboard, but if he doesn’t have faith in the outcome, we’re doomed before we start.
No one says a word, but what would be the point? Grayson takes one look at my face and understanding dawns. He gives me a small smile, a promise of reassurance, and then focuses on Derek and his giant cock. “Get over here.”
They meet at the edge of the bed, a clashing that’s almost violent. Derek topples him back to the mattress, and their hands are everywhere. Stroking and gripping and attempting to pull each other closer.
My chest feels tight just watching them. This could have been our life. If we’d realized what we wanted earlier. If Derek was open to the idea. If we hadn’t fucked this up. If, if, if.
They thrust together, but it’s not enough. By the time Derek looks up, I already have the bottle of lube in my hand. I pass it over silently, and he motions to a spot on the mattress next to them. “Come here, Emma.”
I sink down and lean against the headboard. My body is still zinging from everything Derek did to me in his bedroom, but my desire ramps up at the sight of him spreading my husband’s legs and sliding his lubed up cock into Grayson’s ass. “Holy shit,” I breathe. It was sexy as hell to be in the middle of the ménage, but watching them fuck is just as hot.
It’s not the pure mechanics of it, though seeing them strain toward each other with every stroke is a sight to behold. No, it’s the way Grayson looks up at Derek. He doesn’t have to say that he loves his best friend. It’s right there for both of us to see. Just like it’s blatantly obvious that he’s saying goodbye the same way Derek is saying goodbye.
It makes me want to scream. I have to close my eyes and breathe through it, have to let go of my hurt over the rejection. We’re the ones that changed the rules. Not Derek. It’s not his fault that we couldn’t keep to the terms of this Christmas gift.
I open my eyes in time to see Derek orgasm, grinding into Grayson just shy of brutally. He barely pauses before sliding down my husband’s body and sucking his cock. Through it all, he has eyes only for Grayson. I can’t read his expression, can’t tell if it’s regret or love or something else altogether in his eyes.
Grayson reaches over and laces his fingers through mine. He’s still gripping me when he comes, pumping into Derek’s mouth as his best friend swallows him down.
Fuck, that’s hot.
Once everyone recovers enough to move, we end up back in the bathroom. I finish first and take the opportunity to switch out the sheets with the spare ones in the closet. By the time I’ve remade the bed, they’re still not out and I start back toward the bathroom door only to stop short when I hear their low voices.
I should turn around, should go to the kitchen and pour myself a giant glass of wine. Or some water. Something, anything, but moving closer to the bathroom door to eavesdrop. But then, I never was that good at anything resembling self-control. I lean against the wall next to the cracked door and listen.
“Why not?” That’s Grayson, his frustration evident in his voice.
“It’s easy for you to ask that.” Derek speaks softly, almost as if it pains him. “You have nothing to lose in this little game. You still have the perfect wife, the perfect fucking life. If this blows up in our faces, that won’t change.”
“If this blows up in our faces, I lose you. I hardly think that counts as nothing.”
Derek’s breath hitches. “Stop saying shit like that.”
“No. We’ve danced around this since college. You are my best friend and I love you, but I want you, Derek. I’ve wanted you since college. Tell me that the last couple days don’t feel like a missing piece sliding