the lives of so many valiant seamen at risk. But it won’t be easy for me. My heart is so bruised.”
“I know. This is what worries me most of all.”
“Let’s not think beyond these next two weeks, and don’t make me promises you won’t keep.” She remained in his arms, her head resting against his chest and his gloriously muscled arms around her. After a long moment, she reluctantly drew away.
She was surprised he hadn’t been the one to move away first.
But this was Ronan. Now that he’d given her this promise, he was going to fulfill it to the utmost. If she wanted more kisses, he would indulge her. If she wanted to be in his arms, he would take her in his arms.
She would have two weeks of this.
More, if she desired.
She understood now why it had been important for him to choose her. Few women would ever let him out of the bargain they’d just made. Most would have used it as an opportunity to trap him into marriage.
Let me put this another way. I won’t accept to do this with anyone but you. Those were his exact words of a few minutes earlier. It pleased her that he trusted her and considered her honorable. She felt the same about him.
With great difficulty, she drew away and returned to her chair. “What is our next step?”
He smiled at her and gave her cheek another sweet caress before crossing the room to open the door. “We get back to this book and its lessons in love.”
She laughed shakily. “After that kiss, I’m not sure I’ll be able to concentrate.”
“It caught me off guard, too, Queen Pea.” He grinned and returned to settle in a chair beside hers, the book now in his hand. “There’s no rule to how fast we must read through it. We’ll have plenty of time now, in any event. I’ll make it a point to visit you every day.”
She nodded. “I have a confession to make.”
“You do?” He arched an eyebrow, looking quite amused.
“I read ahead to the next chapters. But I suppose it is a good thing because...” She sighed. “Your kiss is still affecting me.”
“Me, too,” he said quietly and opened the book to the second chapter. “Shall I skip it then?”
“No, it is important. Also, reading with you is different from my reading alone. Better, in truth. My head was hopelessly muddled, and I probably overlooked important bits. These next chapters are about the five senses. Sight. Touch. Taste. Hearing. Scent.”
“What did you learn from reading them?”
“That our own expectations often get in the way of what our sense organs are showing us. These chapters teach us how to clear our minds and look at a thing without judging it in advance.”
Since he seemed to be listening with interest, she continued. “Perhaps the biggest mistake we make when searching for love is our refusal to accept that we’ve selected the wrong partner. This is how I was with Gerald. After reading these chapters, it was as though a stone wall had toppled on my head. How could I have been so dense? Had I bothered to look at him with my eyes wide open, I would have recognized so many failings, not only in him but in us as a couple.”
“You refused to acknowledge what he was.”
“And you saw him so clearly.” She nodded. “I wanted to fall in love now that I had become a woman. I was excited and thrilled to finally be making my debut. He was right there, a friend of long acquaintance. He was writing me love letters. So I was determined to fall in love with him. More important, I made myself believe he loved me. I ignored all the warning signs, refused to accept what my own eyes and ears were telling me.”
He pursed his lips. “Men approach love quite differently, but we lie to ourselves as well. Women want to fall in love, and men want to avoid it desperately, at least early on when they are young bucks stepping out in society.”
“It all goes back to the differences in our brains, doesn’t it?” she said. “The man needs to sire and populate. The woman needs to find the best protector for herself and her children.”
“But it is not quite as straightforward as all that.” He stared at the pages a moment before returning his gaze to hers. “Our feelings also get corrupted by greed, ambition, revenge, envy.”
“Gerald’s certainly were. Yet, I saw