Just . . . stopped, staring down.
Claire didn't know what to do. She felt awful and scared and sick, and she knew she should go to him, but something told her not to. Something told her to wait.
Amelie touched her shoulder, frowning, and Claire jumped in tense surprise. Amelie looked from her to Shane's motionless figure, and Claire saw knowledge dawn in Amelie's face. She went to Shane and put her arm around his shoulders, then turned him around, and Claire knew that he'd seen something behind that tangle of metal. Something awful. There was a burned-out, dead look in his eyes again, and it felt like her heart turned to ash in sympathy for him. Claire rushed over and into his arms, and after a few seconds, he hugged her. Then he put his head on her shoulder, and even if she couldn't hear him, she felt the way his body shook, and the dampness of his tears against her skin.
Claire combed her fingers through his hair and did the only thing she could do.
She held on.
Chapter Sixteen
SIXTEEN
The only thing that approached the sadness Claire felt for Shane was the sympathy she felt for Myrnin.
Maybe it was all wrong; after all, it was his fault. All of it. But in destroying the machine, Frank Collins had reset things back to the way they should be--including Myrnin's sanity.
Sane, he understood what he'd done, and Claire could hardly stand to look at him, to see that awful, stunned, horrified expression in his eyes. He hadn't said a word, not a word. When Amelie tried to speak to him, he averted his eyes and sat, motionless and quiet, head down.
Oliver, as usual, had no sympathy at all. "West is dead," he said flatly. "Or worse, perhaps. Collins sacrificed himself to put it right. Let him brood, if he wants to brood."
Myrnin raised his head then, slowly, and fixed his dark, tragic eyes on Oliver. He said nothing, but there was something very nasty in the way they looked at each other.
"Well?" Oliver demanded. Myrnin looked away. "All because you couldn't lose your precious Ada without going mad. Promise me, Amelie, that you'll crucify me with silver before you allow me to fall in love."
"I hardly think there's any chance of that," Amelie said. "I doubt you have the capacity." She sounded remote and cold, but there was something almost painful in it, too. "There is some positive news, I suppose. Most people seem to have recovered their memories. Whatever damage has been done seems to be temporary."
"Positive news," Oliver repeated. "Except that our boundaries are down, and all our defenses. You know that can't continue. The machine--"
"Isn't working," Claire said, and got up from the chair where she sat next to Shane. "It isn't working. It isn't going to be working, not for months, if it ever does again. Get over it, Oliver." She was angry, she realized. Shaking. And she knew that it was because of Shane's dad. "Could you maybe take a minute or something? Just feel something?"
Amelie and Oliver both looked at her with identically surprised expressions. "Feel what?" Oliver asked. "Grief? For Frank Collins? Are you sure your memory is entirely restored?"
Claire gritted her teeth and resisted the urge to flip him off. She shouldn't have. Eve silently did it for her, from where she stood near the portal, slapping dust and debris off of her Goth black. Her boots were still untied. "Hey, Oliver?" she called. "Didn't see you biting the bullet back there and taking one for the team. You were out of there faster than me."
That put Oliver's mood dangerously toward the dark, but Eve clearly didn't care. She was distressed, too. And angry.
Myrnin finally spoke. "I knew," he said, very softly. "I knew that I wasn't . . . myself. I let myself believe that what I was doing was safe, but it wasn't. Maybe even then my mind was . . . going." He looked up, and there was a faraway, miserable look on his face. "If I'd believed Claire in the first place, we could have stopped this. It didn't have to happen this way. But I wanted . . . I suppose that deep inside, I wanted things to be . . ." He took a deep breath. "I wanted her back. I wanted the past. I wanted to feel . . . less constrained by the rules. And that's what the machine picked up from me. That's what it