The Ghost In My Bedroom - By Heather Jones Page 0,93

the room. It must still be early; no one else had shown yet.

"Is she here now?" I heard Spencer ask.

"Yes she is," Jon answered.

"Hey Lucy," Spencer waved at me in the entirely wrong direction.

"Hi Spencer."

"She says hi."

"Sorry about your death and all that, I'm going to miss you." Jon gave him an irritated look. "I'll give you some time alone," Spencer said and headed out of the parlor.

I stood there staring at Jon from across the room. He struggled to find words so I said the first thing that came to mind.

"You left me."

Tears welled up in his eyes as he nodded in agreement. "I'm so sorry Lucy, this is all my fault."

I had never moved so fast in my life as I did to get to him right then. "No-no-no-no-no. You can't blame yourself. I'm here due to a very bad decision on my part." I felt his warmth and I couldn't help but try and touch him, but my hand passed right through and sent a chill through him. I pulled my hand out fast and he inched closer to me.

"If I had stayed you might still be alive." We were completely face-to-face now, close enough to kiss.

"I can't blame you for leaving after what I told you about him." I reached up with a fingertip and tried to stroke his cheek.

"Yeah right. So are you two like, together now?"

"We haven't exactly talked about it. The last few days have been mostly me crying and feeling sorry for myself." He was so warm.

"Well I hope that it works out for you."

"Do you?"

"I mean, you're pretty much stuck with each other now right? It would kind of suck for you if it didn't."

"I guess. You know Jon, I wasn't lying when I told you I loved you." I was as close to him now as I could be without getting inside of him. I tried to focus on touching him but all I could feel was the heat coming off his body. "You feel so warm, I didn't realize how cold I was."

"What are you doing to me?" he asked through chattering teeth.

"I don't know, I haven't been this close to anyone living yet. I just want to crawl inside of you and stay there."

"Stop, just stop. I can't do this," he whispered in tears again.

I backed off. "Sorry. I'm not quite ready to let you go yet."

"Lucy, look, I came to say goodbye."

Ouch, rip my heart out all over again why don't you. "No, don't do that, you can still see me. We can be friends right? Come visit my grave every once in a while okay? Just fill me in on how the band is doing, let me know if The Cure has a new album out, you know? Just don't say goodbye." I kept babbling so he didn't have a chance to say anything else. I was trying so hard not to cry but it wasn't working. I turned around and was back in front of my coffin, sobbing once again for everything I had lost.

I was aware of people coming in now. My family was there, mom and dad, Natalie and Anastasia, they all came to stand by my coffin separately for a moment and say their goodbyes. Each one of them grieved in their own way. I've never seen my father cry in my life, except for the last few days. He was trying to be strong for mom, who just totally broke down over my death. They came home that night to a scene of flashing lights, police cars everywhere and the coroner's van in front of their house. The police tried to make them turn their car around until they said it was their house and demanded to know what was going on. They led my parents around the vehicles, which were blocking the scene from public view. They were the only ones in my family to see me on the ground like that. I was thankful that my sisters weren't home; I didn't want them to have that memory of me.

Natalie and Anastasia had hardly been home over the last few days. Stazi sought comfort in her boyfriend's arms, away from our house. When she was home, she didn't speak to anyone, she didn't eat, she just kept to her room with the door shut. I could hear her crying all night long. Nat was hardly ever home to begin with, but once she found out what happened she was gone