Getting the Axe - Nikki Mays

Elle

I

can’t commit murder,” I mutter to myself while I viciously open the plastic bag to put these avocados in. “I just can’t do it, no matter how much I want to. I wouldn’t do well in prison and Brad would suck at helping me hide a dead body.” I continue to talk to myself out loud, not realizing that I’ve gained an audience.

I jump at the sound of a deep, masculine voice beside me. “You’re right about that.” I grab my chest, dropping my perfect avocados, and inhale deeply when I see Declan standing there. “Your brother would suck at hiding a body. You need someone who is quick on their feet and who doesn’t mind getting their hands dirty.”

His words make me pause and tilt my head. “Hey, Dec?” I ask slowly. “You do realize that you’re a cop, right?” I mean, maybe he got hit in the head and forgot. Anything is possible with him.

He gives me his trademark smirk. A smirk that he has on his face more often than not. “Yes, I’m aware of what my profession is. Trust me, it’s hard to forget the crackhead that I watched Damon wrestle today.” He chuckles.

I reach out and smile my thanks as Declan hands me the avocados that he picked up off the floor for me. “Why did you watch him? Why didn’t you go and help him?” I ask as I place the green goodness in the bag and properly fasten it this time.

Declan gives me a mischievous look while shrugging. “Eh, Damon looked like he had it handled.” I wait, knowing good and well that with Declan, there’s always more to the story. And he doesn’t disappoint. “Plus, Marc has been a whiny bitch since he wasn’t able to get the nail sticking out of Mason’s ass on video. I figured that I would record Damon wrestling around with a deranged crackhead covered in his own vomit to make him feel better.”

“How sweet?” I say drily.

Either ignoring my tone or completely oblivious to it, Declan smiles and nods his head. “I thought so too.” His voice is as chipper as can be. Good grief, how does Aimee deal with him?

“I feel so bad for Aimee some days,” I say while I continue my shopping, knowing that Declan will more than likely follow me.

I see his frown out of the corner of my eye. “Why does everyone say that? I’m a catch.” He pouts ridiculously.

It’s at this exact moment that I know that Kayla, Aimee, and Stacey have had a bad effect on me. I stop walking and look up at him. “What? Like the kind that you throw back?”

He stares at me for a few moments before he finally starts blinking again. I can see his eyes narrow and his cheek twitch. If I didn’t know him so well, his size would make me nervous. “You know,” he drawls. “if you’re going to be so salty, the least you could do is bring some tequila.” He purses his lips. “And you should stop going near Kayla’s salty ass. She’s bad for you.” He sniffs.

I can’t help it. I burst out laughing at this large man sniffing like a teenage girl. I actually have to hold onto my shopping cart to keep myself upright. The nice guy that Declan is, he just stands beside me patiently, with only a mildly sour look on his face.

I wipe underneath my eyes and make sure that my eyeliner isn’t messed up. “You’re too much, Dec.” I giggle.

His eyes widened. “Me?” He scoffs. “You’re the one standing here laughing like a hyena and I’m too much?”

I give him a frown. “I don’t laugh like a hyena.” I’m pretty sure that I don’t.

He raises an eyebrow and crosses his arms over his chest. “You sure about that?”

No. “Yes, I’m sure.” The smug look that he’s giving me means that I don’t sound very convincing.

I shake my head and look around the store. “What are you doing here?”

“Buying a car.” He deadpans like a jerk. “What do you think I’m doing at the grocery store?”

Well, when he puts it like that…but still. “Where’s Aimee?”

“Working…why?” His eyes narrow.

We look utterly ridiculous standing in the middle of the produce isle staring at each other on a Wednesday evening, but oh well. “I thought that you weren’t allowed to go grocery shopping without Aimee anymore?”

“I have no idea what you’re talking about.” He lies.

“If you come home with more junk food, she’s going to kill you.