something new and beautiful.
“I….I am humbled by your kind words.” I stuttered. “But… I am not a young man Sebastian and I need you to know I will not enter into this…friendship blindly. I appear to enjoy your company, but the truth is that you are at an advantage.” Sebastian looked up at me, perplexed.
“You have watched me and become familiar with my habits over many months in your disguises as Josiah and John Edwards. However, I met you a mere eight days ago.”
“Gods, is that all? It feels like I’ve known you forever!” Sebastian admitted rubbing his hand across his mouth. His pupils flared, sending a dart of attraction my way. He looked so boyishly handsome at that moment and the interruption befuddled my brain and made me lose my place. I could not let emotions or attraction get the better of me. Morality and truth must be my shining light. I took a breath and ordered my thoughts.
“You make your living from criminality which I find disturbs me greatly. You have presented yourself in many disguises meant to deceive. You have deceived me and yet—” I paused for a measuring breath.
“—And yet… you also assisted to stop Euan’s scheme in its tracks…and you gave me The Staff of Asklepios as a gift.” I paused again, torn by expressing the duplicity of this man’s behavior and my unnerving magnetic attraction to him.
“Even though what you suggest is sinful, I find you…fascinating. I must admit I… do share your desires for more. I would like to become acquainted with you, but when it comes to the matter of trust, I cannot say that I trust you, for that would be a lie. But what I can say is that I will try to trust as you give me a reason to.”
Sebastian ran a thumb and forefinger absently to trace the outline of his succulent lips. He was deep in thought, considering all I’d said. I sat back and sipped at my cooling tea. Then Sebastian spoke,
“You humble me, Benedict. That was a kind and measured response. You are indeed correct and incisive in your rendering of me. I understand that my profession and deception gives you every reason not to trust me. But, when it comes to the use of disguises, in my defence, all I can say is that it was not time for me to reveal myself. I was unsure if I could count you as an ally, and when we met on the train I did not know if you were aware of the full contents of the Ardmillan Will. As events unfolded and we conversed I saw that the man I knew when I was in disguise as Josiah was, in fact, your true-self and you would not compromise yourself for the likes of Lord Euan Ardmillan. Moving forward I will endeavor to be honest and do my best to give you every reason to trust me”.
“Very well,” I conceded. “So what next?”
Sebastian’s eyes brightened and with a wry grin he said, “Isn’t that obvious, friend?”
Men like us took our pleasure in snatched moments of illicit fumbling in bathrooms, a back-alley upright, or an evening at a Molly house. Then we got on with our lives as if the exchange had never happened. I did not want our connection to be like that. Seedy, illicit, and dangerous. If Sebastian was to be my new friend, we would need to make proper arrangements. We would see one another regularly, and get to know each other’s tastes. It would also mean I would be permitting a wanted criminal to have access to my life, to my family, my business acquaintances.
“Before we proceed I need you to promise something.”
Sebastian nodded. “You will never steal from me or my family.”
“Gods! Of course not!” Sebastian seemed rather outraged that I had dared to voice those words.
“Very well,” Sebastian held my gaze.
“Then we have an understanding.” He said. The implications of those words made me feel lighter and younger than my years.
“It appears we do.” I agreed, and to hell with my determination to remain celibate. I wanted to kiss him then…to seal the deal as it were…but this was not the time or the place. Not when my servants were in the house about their business.
“Thank you. I was so incredibly nervous to speak with you. I played through a plethora of scenarios during my journey back to London.” Cavell admitted, and I found this admission most endearing. He gave a