side, you know?”
“Even though you and your dad don’t get along.”
Jesus. This woman. She’s always fucking right and it’s exasperating, but also…she’s right. “Okay, I get what you’re saying. My dad’s my dad, and I…care about him and also I care about Grandpa.”
She smiles.
“And it’s hard not to get down about what’s happening to him, but he had an amazing life, and we’ve all been lucky to be part of it. Even though at times he was stubborn and hard to get along with.” I pause. “I wonder how much Dad and Uncle Mark regret all the negativity.”
“Did you talk to your dad about that when you went out for lunch?”
“No.”
“Jax, you should have.”
“You’re probably right. I’m a coward.”
“No, you’re not. It’s not easy talking about the things that have hurt us. But…”
“What?”
“It’s none of my business. Sorry.”
“No, tell me.”
“It seems like your relationship with your dad is distant.”
“Yeah. That’s a fair comment.”
“Do you want more? Do you want to be closer?”
“Not really.”
She blows out a puff of air. “Jax.”
“He cheated on my mom.”
Her head whips around. I glance sideways at her as I drive. “Oh,” she says.
I sigh. “Yeah. I found out by accident. That was why they split up. Mom’s never said a bad word about him, but I know she was hurt by it. And I fucking hate it.”
She nibbles her bottom lip as Southern California scenery flashes by outside the car. “Do you have questions about that?”
“Questions?” My hands tighten on the steering wheel. “Like, why he cheated?”
“Yeah. I guess. Maybe if you talked to him about it, you’d understand.”
“Wait, you want me to understand? Forgive him? You’re the one who left your fiancé because he cheated on you. You couldn’t get past that.” My voice has risen, and I have to take a long breath.
“True,” she says quietly. “I’m not saying there’s ever any excuse for cheating, but…oh hell. You’re right—I probably do need to talk to Steve about it.”
Wow, that was a quick spinorama.
“For closure. Understanding. I probably need that to move on. And I think you probably do, too, with your dad.”
Well, shit. At least she’s not a hypocrite, but she has a point. I did say that about talking to Steve. I better not be a hypocrite either.
“I guess I could talk to Dad again while I’m here,” I say gruffly.
12
Molly
It serves me right for trying to give Jax advice. As I was telling him he should talk to his dad, I realized he’d told me the exact same thing about Steve. And I had to admit he was right.
I think about this as I lay by the pool. Jax is golfing with Harrison, Asher and JP. Tomorrow he’s having lunch with his sister, and the next day he and his dad are taking a helicopter ride to Catalina Island, which sounds amazing. Probably a helicopter isn’t a good place to have an intimate discussion, though. But maybe they’ll have a chance to talk when they get to the island. Assuming Jax doesn’t spend the whole time taking pictures; I know he’s looking forward to that.
Likely because he feels guilty, he’s going to take me whale watching on Sunday, our second last day here. I’m so excited about that! And I don’t mind hanging out by myself for a while as he spends time with his family, which is what he came here for.
Also it gives me a chance to think about a lot of things. Like talking to Steve. Ugh. And how mixed up I felt when Bob Wynn talked about Jax and me getting married and being attracted to each other. My belly got a tight, twisted feeling because I shouldn’t be attracted to Jax. He was making it patently clear that we’re just friends. But sometimes, I catch him looking at me, especially at the pool or the beach or sometimes in the hotel room…and there was the night we got here and what he was doing in bed…
I flip onto my stomach and kick my feet a couple of times in frustration.
Maybe this was a mistake. I just wanted to get out of Chicago. I can’t be thinking about Jax in bed with me…which he has been. But I keep thinking about pushing those pillows out of the way and sliding up next to him and feeling all that hot, bare skin against mine.
Oh God. I let out a little whimper, my face buried in my arms, my belly fluttering with inappropriate lust.
Don’t go there. Do. Not. Go.