sighing heavily. “Well, does anybody else want to share something they’ve learned about their journey this week?”
Brynn twisted her lips, then raised her hand. “Yeah.”
Kellie didn’t seem surprised and gave her an encouraging dip of her chin. “Go ahead, Brynn.”
“I learned that my angry surges,” she began slowly, “are my defense mechanism against hurt. And because anger only spirals, it started to take over any big emotion. Stress, anxiety, nervousness, embarrassment . . . everything defaulted to anger, and because I was so torn up, I didn’t have the ability to control it. My anger controlled me, and there was so much of it. When Trent finally told me about his cheating, and I saw him for what he really was, I was hurt and I was angry. Anger made me feel stronger than hurt, so I kept that. Not intentionally, but that’s what happened.”
Heads began to nod around the room, giving her comfort and sanity in this moment of admitting something she wouldn’t have been able to before she got here.
Brynn smiled, tears beginning to form. “It’s okay to be hurt. It’s okay to be vulnerable. It’s okay to be open. It’s okay to not be protected by walls all the time. That’s what I’m learning. I’m still learning how to be those things, but I haven’t surged in forty-eight hours, and considering I’m dealing with therapy that leaves me drained and exposed, that’s kind of miraculous.”
“Not a miracle,” Kellie told her, grinning at her like a mother, a sister, or a best friend. “That’s you. That’s your hard work and willingness to be open to change.”
“It’s still not comfortable to be vulnerable,” Brynn said with a laugh.
“That’s not going anywhere,” Sadie quipped, crossing one leg over the other as she winked at Brynn. “Gotta get comfortable with uncomfortable.”
Brynn made a face to show her feelings on that subject, which made the others laugh, too.
“Excellent sharing,” Kellie praised. “Anyone else?”
“Me,” Julia said quickly, shifting in her seat. “Umm . . . I’ve debated saying anything, but I decided it’s part of my journey, and I need to share. I, um . . . I’m pregnant.”
A gasp went up around the group, and Brynn smiled at her friend, suspecting what she was about to tell them all would be hard.
“When my mom passed,” Julia went on, “it crossed my mind that she’d never see any kids I might have. Never meet my babies. I knew that, but since I didn’t have any, it didn’t feel real. But now . . . Alex and I are so happy, so happy that we’re having a baby. We’ve laughed and we’ve cried, and then I sat in my room and cried some more. Because I can’t call my mom and tell her that I’m going to have a baby.” She broke down in tears and curled into a ball, sobbing the pain of her situation in front of them all.
Trish was sitting next to Julia, and wrapped her arms around her tightly, pulling Julia to lean against her as she cried.
“I want my mommy,” Julia cried as the tears streamed down her face. “I’m having a baby, and I want my mom here for that. I don’t know how to do this. I need her.” She sniffed a little, clearing her throat. “I told Kellie that I feel like I’ve fallen back to where I was when I got here, and that I’ve lost all of my progress because this hurts more than I can handle.” She covered her face with one hand, slumping against Trish.
“And what did I tell you, Julia?” Kellie prodded gently, handing Trish a box of tissues for her.
Julia lowered her hand to her mouth, swallowing hard. “It’s okay that it hurts. Because I loved my mom, and losing someone you love should hurt. It’s part of loving them. And that I just need to not get stuck in my grief.”
Kellie smiled, wiping a tear away from her own cheek. “Exactly. You can be happy about the baby while being sad for your mom. That’s okay, too.”
Meredith sniffed back tears and pushed up from her chair, coming over to crouch before Julia, taking her hand. “Julia, I’m going to ask you a question. And I need you to really consider it, baby. Can you do that?”
Julia nodded, looking at her as she held onto Trish for support.
“I want to be your stand-in mama,” Meredith told her. She smiled even as tears rolled down her cheeks. “I can’t bring your