She sat up straight and moved away from me. “It’s time to go,” she said flatly, looking around for her purse.
Disappointment cut into me, razor sharp and violent. My hope, yanked out from under me.
No. Not today. Not again.
I flexed my jaw. “Kristen, answer me. Why aren’t we together?”
When she looked up, her face was cold. “I told you from the very beginning that this was just going to be sex. I never led you to believe that it was anything different, Josh.”
I shook my head at her. “It is something different and you fucking know it.”
She turned and slid out of the booth on the opposite side.
“Where are you going?”
“To get another drink,” she said without looking at me. “A strong one. Feel free to leave. I’ll Uber home alone.”
“Kristen!”
She ignored me and walked to the bar. I raked a frustrated hand through my hair.
I can’t do this anymore.
And I had to at the same time. I couldn’t not take what little scraps she threw at me, but how could I keep living like this?
Weeks of this roller-coaster ride, of glimpses of…something. I chased it, ran after this elusive rainbow of a woman, never really catching up with her.
Why did she keep doing this?
She leaned on the bar and I sat, trying to calm myself down a little before I went after her. I stared moodily at the business cards lacquered into the top of the table. I was glancing up from this when he approached her. Some fucking guy.
He put his hand on her…
I launched out of the booth in an instant.
THIRTY
Kristen
I had to get up, had to be somewhere where he wouldn’t see the pain in my eyes. My mask could only hold up so long.
My boundaries had been wavering all day. I’d gotten sloppy—I’d gotten stupid. I’d just missed him too much, and with so little time left I couldn’t help myself. I just wanted to show him how he made me want to be with him. Just today.
Just once.
And now I’d fucked everything up. I never should have started up with him. It was selfish and idiotic to think I could pull this off. And I shouldn’t have gone over there today. I should have ended things after karaoke—I knew better. I knew he was having feelings.
“A shot of Patrón.” I leaned on the worn wooden bar, imagining Josh’s eyes on my back.
This was it. The last day. It was all over now. No more.
A lump bolted to my throat.
Well, it was a good day. It was. At least there was that. It came sooner than I’d hoped, but here we were.
A warm body edged up to me as I wiped a tear from my cheek and I turned, expecting Josh. But it was one of the frat guys from the table next to us at trivia.
He tossed his head back, flinging hair from his forehead. “Hey. Do you believe in love at first sight?”
He was wasted. Red eyes, reeking of Jäger. He leered at me, way too close.
I scooted away. “No, but now I believe in annoyed at first sight,” I mumbled.
He snapped his fingers at the bartender. “She’ll have another of whatever she’s got.” He pointed at me.
“Uh, no, she won’t.” I turned to him, irritated, and gave him my best sarcastic smile. “What’s your name?”
He beamed under ruddy cheeks. “Kyle.”
“Okay, Kyle. I’m trying to be a better person these days, so I’m going to tell you to fuck off in the nicest way possible.” I gave him crazy eyes. “Fuck off. Please.”
He laughed. “Wow, okay.” He blew a sour breath in my face.
The bartender slid my tequila in front of me, and Kyle dropped a bill on the bar. I slid it back to him. “No.” I shook my head incredulously. “What is it about the look on my face that is encouraging to you right now?”
I never understood men who wouldn’t take no for an answer. I opened my purse and paid. “Keep the change.” Then I picked up my shot and gave Kyle my back, shaking my head.
He grabbed my arm from behind. “Hey, don’t be fucking rude…”
I was looking down on his hand, ready to introduce him to my elbow, when suddenly Josh was there.
He pushed between me and Kyle, knocking him away from me. “Hey, get your fucking hands off her.”
Then he lurched forward with a shove, crashing into me, sloshing my shot all over the bar.
Josh moved so quickly Kyle didn’t know what hit him.