it’d be rude for me to leave, so I wait, saying my goodbyes to everyone and putting on a front of complete control, because least of all, I feel Alistair’s eyes on me through the whole thing.
He’s proud, I can see that, but it doesn’t relieve any of the pressure that comes with his scrutiny.
The rest of the day moves in a blur, and it’s not until we reach the helicopter that I finally breathe.
“I’m proud of you,” my dad says, clapping a hand on my back. “This was a big deal, and you guys did a great job.” As he shakes Ellis’s hand, I feel my heart rate start to elevate.
“I’ll see you tonight at the party,” I say to him, desperate to get away.
“See you tonight,” he says with hesitation as he climbs into the car, glaring at me through the corner of his eye as he drives away.
“It’s hot as fuck out here,” I growl, tearing off my jacket.
“Hey, you okay?” Ellis asks as we walk out to the aircraft.
“I just want to go home.” This is all happening too fast. We have to be back in a few hours for the party, and then he’s leaving, and she’s never going to forgive me if I let him leave like this. As we reach the helicopter, I spin around and point a finger at his chest. And of course, I don’t say what I really need to say. I take the easy way out.
“She needs you too, you know. I can’t help her alone. I’m too busy with work anyway and if she really needs help getting back on her feet without that bitch controlling her, she’ll need you too, and you started this whole thing—”
“Nash.” His strong hand clasps the back of my neck as he pulls me toward him, placing his forehead against mine. “Calm down. Breathe.”
“I’m fine.”
“I’ll stay to help her if that’s what you want. I can stick around for a couple more weeks if that’s enough. Just relax.”
My hands press against his chest, and I glance to the side, checking for anyone to see us, but there’s not a soul around, so I press him against the side of the helicopter, taking his mouth with mine, but he doesn’t kiss me back.
My heart lands against the cement as I pull back and look him in the eye. “Fuck, Ellis, give me another chance. Can’t we just put that shit behind us?”
His jaw clenches as he stares at me. “I haven’t made it this far by making dangerous decisions, Nash, and giving you another chance would be the most dangerous decision I could possibly make. Loving you is dangerous, Nash.”
“For Hanna…you know she wants this. She needs both of us.”
“You want me to believe you’ve changed, but if this week has proven anything to me, Nash, it’s that you haven’t changed at all. You still protect yourself first. You don’t give your trust or control to anyone else, and you refuse to be vulnerable. Not even for a fucking second. You want to prove to me you’ve changed and giving you my heart again won’t end the same way it did last time, then go tell your dad right now. Or better yet, tell her. Tell Zara you’ve moved on and you love someone else.”
He pulls his phone out of his pocket and holds it in front of himself. “Here, call her now.”
“It’s not that easy. I’ll tell them but not like this.”
“That’s right. On your terms, always on your terms.”
Pulling his hand off my neck, he moves himself away, and I feel my chest start to seize up at the realization that this is it. I’ve lost him and I can’t get him back. He’s right. Ellis is a practical guy. He makes smart decisions, and he doesn’t play games. It’s one of the things I love about him. He’s strong, smart, and confident. That means he doesn’t give assholes like me a second chance.
“Come on,” he says. “We still have a beautiful woman to show off at a party, and as long as she needs us, I’ll be there for her.” Then he glares at me. “But this thing between us…it’s over.”
29
“You cannot go to the party like that,” I say to Nash as he steps out of the shower, holding a white towel around his waist.
“Well, I was planning on getting dressed,” he answers with a laugh, looking down at his still wet chest. Stepping up to him, I run