Ellis is the first to climb onto the low rock. “Don’t hurt yourself,” Nash calls in a mocking tone.
“Fuck you,” Ellis replies, and I let out an easy laugh. It feels so good to be alone with them. I wish it could be like this all the time. This is what I’ve been missing for so long, and I want to call it friendship, but I know it’s more than that. It’s almost like a sense of family with them, or is it belonging? Whatever it is, I don’t know if I’m ready to leave it yet.
Ellis stands on the lowest ledge of rock, his hands on his wet trunks, which are already short and tight, revealing the thick muscles of his tan thighs. I can hardly tear my eyes away, and I honestly wonder if he’s not doing this on purpose, standing up there like he’s on display, all of the sun’s rays highlighting every sharp edge of muscle on his chest and stomach.
And I’m not the only one looking. As I turn in the water to look for Nash, I catch him staring at Ellis too. After clearly being caught gawking, he swims away toward the rock so he can begin his climb too.
Nash takes a different route up the rock face, obviously aiming for a higher ledge.
“Be careful!” I call, seeing him so high up. The water is deep here, and I trust him, but my anxiety kicks up at the thought of him falling.
“Show off,” Ellis barks at him with a playful scowl.
Hanging onto the rock, I watch as Nash takes the dive first, and my stomach literally leaps into my throat at the sight of him falling headfirst toward the water. Ellis and I both let out a sigh of relief when his head pops out of the water. Next, Ellis dives in, and they both look at me.
“Your turn,” Nash says.
“Me?” Immediately, I think about my mother. She would have my head if she knew I did something so reckless, something that could ruin my career. An injury wouldn’t just ruin my life, it would strip me of my value.
Fuck that.
When I swim toward the rock Nash climbed, I hear Ellis call my name, but I ignore him. With each foot of rock I climb my heart beats faster. When my bare foot slips, they both yell my name, but I don’t stop. There’s a scrape on my knee, and I can feel a trickle of blood seeping down my leg. It only motivates me.
“Come on, Hanna,” Nash yells. “You can really hurt yourself, for fuck’s sake.”
“Please be careful,” Ellis echoes.
When I reach the small flat area where I can stand, I turn around and stare down at the huge cliff beneath me. Oh fuck, this is high up.
“You should see your faces right now,” I yell with a laugh. They are both staring up at me with expressions of terror, and only Ellis cracks a smile. “I’m fine!”
“Please just jump far away from the rocks,” Nash adds.
I don’t know why, but standing up here with the sun on my face, I feel exhilarated, and the reminder my mother would never let me do this only excites me more. With my hands in the air, I let out an exhilarated whoop.
“Just jump, Hanna!”
“Oh, relax. Let her have a moment,” Ellis scolds him.
“I’ve never, never done anything like this.”
When I look back down at the two guys in the water, both of them treading water, gazing up at me and waiting for me to jump, I feel a bolt of something in my chest. It’s something profound, bordering on pain and all I know is I want more. My feelings are getting caught up in this and I don’t want to go back to the life I left behind. But I can’t have both of them, and my heart refuses to lean in one direction more than the other.
Pushing away the reminder that this feeling has an expiration date, I finally gather the courage to jump. The moment my feet leave the rock, I try to make time stop. Floating feet first toward the water, I leave everything behind.
After about an hour of swimming in the lagoon, we head to the opposite side of the island where there is a large island bar with a huge patio that reaches out to the water. The three of us sit around a plastic patio table with margaritas and tacos. No one