with a ghost from my past, I let out a forced exhale.
“I was surprised when I got your email. I'll admit I never thought you would talk to me again."
I glance up in a rush, shock flooding my bloodstream, but I control the urge to show it. Walking toward the house, I turn back as he follows. “Of course. It's just business. What happened in Amsterdam...water under the bridge, really. It's in the past." I wave my hand, trying to act calm even though my gut is so tightly wound I feel like I might explode at any moment.
I glance his way and our eyes meet. His brow is furrowed and his lips are gently parted, seeming like he doesn't believe me. "Okay, then."
It’s not until we reach the guest suite that I realize he’s making it sound like he’s the one to blame for what went down. It feels like manipulation. He’s trying to get on my good side, to pretend it was his fault one day I flipped a fucking switch.
“Listen,” I say as he drops his leather satchel on the desk. “I never told my dad—”
He puts up a hand. “Don’t worry about it. I won’t say a thing.”
“I didn’t even tell him we saw each other.”
“For nine months,” he replies like it’s a question.
“The whole time. He has no idea.”
Ellis nods, and I have to glance away because seeing him here, standing in my dad’s old bedroom feels like a system overload. Suddenly, his eyes fixate on the window as he squints.
“Is that your girlfriend?”
“What?” Looking past him, I see Hanna walking toward the house in nothing but a pair of tight yoga shorts and a sports bra. Jesus, woman. Put some clothes on.
“No, she’s not,” I reply quickly, but then regret it. That’s exactly what I should have said she was. Make it very fucking clear from the start she is off-limits…and so am I. “She’s Zara’s friend. And she’ll be staying here for a few days.”
He nods, then glances at me. I’m standing so close to him I can smell his cologne and the product in his hair, so I quickly shuffle away, moving toward the door.
“I’ll let you get settled for a while. Thalia, the housekeeper, will be in shortly to get you anything you need. We can start this afternoon if you’re ready. I’ll be in the office all day.” Everything comes out in a rush, and I do my best not to stammer as I talk, too afraid to look at him while I do.
“Yes, sir,” he replies, and it grates on my nerves the second it comes out of his mouth.
He’s definitely fucking with me, and I already regret inviting him here. The problem with Ellis is he knows me too well. He knows exactly who he’s fucking with and he does it anyway. He loves to see me fired up.
7
Amsterdam
“She was sleeping with both of you at the same time?"
Ellis is sitting across from me at a small bar in the city center, and it only took three rounds of dry gin before everything started coming out. Every secret I told myself I would keep buried I just puked up to not just anyone, but my dad’s old friend. But he’s my friend now too, maybe even more than my dad’s.
"Yeah, but it was fine. We made it clear it was okay."
"But you had her first?" There is a mischievous smirk on his face that is making my cheeks flush hot. I don’t talk to people about this. I certainly don't bring up how the girl I was fucking suddenly started fucking my dad and how I was okay with that, to the point where we actually shared her. But in my defense, I was not surprised when she chose him. I guess I could have stuck around and stayed in the equation, but it wasn't right.
"She and I were never serious."
"Uh-huh." He doesn’t sound like he believes me.
"What?" I ask with a laugh.
With his pursed lips and raised brows, the skepticism is written all over his face. "Do you think it would have been serious if he hadn't stepped in?"
I stare down at the gin-soaked ice in my glass. I told Zara I loved her. I had never uttered those words to anyone, and I said them first. I remember that night pretty fucking vividly. It was my all-in move. My last ditch attempt to win her over, but by that point I had already lost.