that.” I love pictures of Harper, but memories of this day, no thanks.
Keeping Harper in my arm, I pour myself a cup of coffee, and when I look back at Zara, she looks almost impressed. Sitting at the counter across from me, she smiles.
“Want one?”
“Sure,” she replies, so I pass her the one I just poured.
It’s only comfortably silent for a moment before she starts with the questions.
“Have a good talk with your dad?”
I roll my eyes. “Yeah, he can get you all caught up later.” I desperately don’t need to go through that whole thing again. It was awful enough once.
“I think I’m just about caught up,” she says while walking to the fridge to pull out the coffee creamer she uses.
“Think so?”
“Don’t forget I know you, Nash Wilde. I used to know you better than anyone else, but I don’t think I get to say that anymore.”
I catch the way her eyes glance out to the patio, and my mouth goes dry. Here we go.
“If you think I’m mad, I promise I’m not.”
“I thought you’d hate us together.”
As she sits back on the stool, she looks at me for a moment before leaning forward and saying, “Don’t be mad at me for what I’m about to say. You’re holding my baby. But Nash, I never wanted you with Hanna…to protect Hanna.”
Ouch. I probably deserved that.
And as I bring the cup to my lips, blowing on the hot coffee, I don’t argue.
“I was that bad, huh?”
“You were that broken. I expected you to come back from Amsterdam a stronger, happier version of yourself, but you were more broken than when I first came to Del Rey. You just hid it differently. I knew something happened there, and I assumed it was my fault. I was afraid your dad and I got married too quickly, and it didn’t take much digging on your dad’s part to figure it out.”
“What do you mean figure it out?” I ask.
“He had some friends there. He made a few calls, found out you were spending all of your free time with Ellis Prior. He just didn’t understand the scope of it yet, but I had my ideas…”
What the…fuck?
“Why didn’t anyone say something to me?”
“Talk to you? We could hardly get you to look up from your phone for three years straight. Alistair assumed once you got the company back, you’d have something to distract you. He just wanted you to be okay. And when it was very clear you weren’t…he called him.”
Shit, it all makes sense now. When my dad called him, I assumed it was because he didn’t trust me to handle it on my own. Naturally, he had to fucking meddle in my personal life.
“Granted, he thought you were just friends, but at lunch that day, it was very clear to me it was more than that. Then I went shopping with Hanna…and that’s when I realized shit was a lot more complicated out here than I thought.”
“Fuck,” I mutter, leaning against the counter. Glancing down at Harper still in my arms, and I realize she fell asleep, snoring peacefully in my arms.
Zara gets up from her stool, walking over to place her lips against the baby’s head. When she looks up at me, she ruffles my hair. “We don’t care who you love, Nash. We just want you to be happy. Then maybe you can have something like this for yourself.”
She carefully rolls Harper out of my arms and carries her over to her car seat, lying her down with care. I’m left reeling in the kitchen, feeling a little side-swiped by this news that not only did my dad know about Ellis and me in Amsterdam but he wanted him out here to try and make me happy…again.
This is the second time he’s done this. I just wish I knew why the fuck it doesn’t ever seem to work.
After saying goodbye to my dad and Zara, I go to my room to hide. I don’t want to be around when Hanna leaves. I’ve faced enough failure today. I just need to be alone with it for a while. But it’s only a few minutes after I drift off to sleep that I feel someone’s weight settle on my bed.
When I open my eyes, I stare at her as she crawls across the mattress and rests on the pillow next to me.