Foundations - Kate Canterbary Page 0,3

September. There was no need to wait until mid-October.

Then Maddie arrived and nothing seemed more important than her. I loved this little girl like I couldn't believe. I wanted to snuggle her all day, every day. I hated the idea of leaving her and there were moments when I couldn't imagine doing it. But there were also moments when I couldn't imagine staying at home another minute. I wanted to witness every second in my daughter's new life but I also wanted my work.

More than anything, I didn't want to feel guilty. I wanted to feel good about my choices without focusing on the sacrifices inherent in them.

"Lauren," Matthew murmured, nudging my inner thigh with his knee. There was a time when that nudge would've served as the first and final warning before he seated himself inside me. I knew without a doubt this nudge wasn't that kind of warning because he didn't do that anymore. "What's going on in there, sweetness?"

Smiling, I shook my head. God, this man was too good. Too patient. Even after all these years and all this post-partum sexual deprivation, I wondered what I did to deserve him. "No, I'm not worried about going back to school." Thinking better of it, I added, "Not much."

He studied me, his eyes narrowed. "Have I told you how much I love it when you keep things from me until the exact moment you're ready to share them and I've lost the last shreds of my sanity worrying over you?" He nudged my thigh again. Oh my god, fuck me already. "Because I do, I fucking love it."

I ran my hands up and over his flanks to his shoulders. How did every part of him get harder while I softened? "That works well," I replied, "because I happen to enjoy it when you're crazy. Do you remember when you were crazy enough to show up at my apartment with my underwear in hand?"

"Do I remember," he murmured, rolling his eyes at the ceiling. "That move was epic. You should've seen me, wandering through Beacon Hill while looking for your apartment, your damn underwear burning a hole in my pocket. I felt like a bona fide pervert, as if someone was going to stop me at any moment and ask if I had women's lingerie on me. But I was completely convinced it was the right thing to do."

"Sounds confusing," I said, laughing.

"You don't know the half of it." He looked away, his unfocused gaze falling on the door to the adjoining bathroom. It stood ajar, yesterday's towels and a questionably clean—and totally boring—bra suspended from the interior hooks. "That morning when I woke up—and you weren't there—I didn't know what to do with myself. I walked around the loft thinking I'd met the most amazing woman in the whole damn world, the one who was going to turn my life upside down, and she'd slipped through my fingers." He blinked, turning back to me. "Don't leave me again. Okay? Whatever it is that's bothering you, give it to me. Let me fix it for you. Because I need you, sweetness. I need you, Maddie needs you, my entire family needs you. You're our glue. We'll fall apart without our glue."

I nodded, forced a smile through a surge of unbidden tears. Goddamn these hormones. They didn't quit, not even when the baby was good and born. "I'm not going anywhere," I said. "Don't worry about anything."

Matthew reached down, brushed the tears from my cheeks. "It's what I do, Lauren. Let me do it."

"There are a lot of things you do," I replied. "Worrying is only one of them." I ran my knuckles down the center line of his chest. Couldn't get more obvious about my bleating need for dick if I hung a sign over my head. "Since I have you here, I could use a refresher on some of your other skills, Mr. Walsh."

He pointed up, toward the ceiling. "I ripped this house apart and rebuilt it for you. Gave you plenty of bookshelves too. Between that and the industrial-grade worrying, you've got the best of me."

He was working at ignoring my advances. He was trying. That was so depressing. "There's more to you than stress and houses."

I was this close to whipping off my t-shirt and asking him to take me hard and fast and remind me what it felt like when we lost ourselves in each other. This close.

But the front door banged open downstairs and with