be together again.
“What are you doing here?” he said.
“I was worried about you.”
“I’m fine.”
“You don’t look fine.”
“Well I am.” His stomach churning, he said, “I’m done giving you lessons.”
She didn’t look surprised. Instead, she said, “Harrison was wrong about why I slept with you. When I confronted him about cheating on me with Crystal, he said he wanted a break to experiment with other women who could give him what he needed in bed. He said I was free to sleep with another man, even though he knew I was satisfied with him.”
She made a bitter little laugh that hurt his heart. “I gave him back his engagement ring and told him goodbye. I thought he understood that we were through, but obviously he didn’t. I don’t love him, Preacher. I stopped loving him the moment I found out he was cheating on me. I’m not interested in having any type of relationship with him again. Anyway, I didn’t sleep with you because Harrison gave me some kind of permission to sleep with you. I had no intention of doing anything he told me to do ever again.”
“So, why did you sleep with me?” he said.
“Because I’d been attracted to you for a really long time. Even when I was with Harrison. It made me feel bad and like I was cheating on him, but I couldn’t help it. I wanted you, Simon. When we kissed that night outside the bar, it was… well, it was incredible. I’d never felt so alive and I know that sounds stupid and like a cliché, but it’s true.”
She took a few steps toward him. “When I had the chance to sleep with you, I took it because I wanted you. No other reason. And it’s good between us, isn’t it?”
He looked away. “Yeah.”
“It’s not just the sex either. We’re good together. I have more fun with and enjoy spending time with you more than any other person in my life. And that includes Harper. Don’t ever tell her I said that though.”
She smiled at him and when he didn’t return it, her smile faltered a little. “I think there could be something more between us than just sex. Don’t you?”
He wanted to say yes. More than anything in his life, he wanted to say yes. Instead, he shook his head and said, “No.”
Hurt flickered across her face before she straightened her shoulders and stared directly at him. He had to hand it to his little Sunshine. When she wanted something, she went after it.
“Is it because of your past? Because I don’t care about what happened or… or where you’ve been.”
He’d expected this. Had been expecting it since the minute Harrison told him he knew he was an ex-convict. There was no way the prick wouldn’t tell Addison. Still, his heart dropped into his stomach, and his mouth went dry, and his stomach clenched like he was anticipating a punch to the gut.
“You know I was in prison,” he said.
“Yes.”
“Then you know why we can’t be together.”
“Your past doesn’t define you, Simon. Just like my past doesn’t define me. Do you think I’m proud that I was in love with someone like Harrison? That I looked past his bigotry, and his cruelty, and his arrogance? That I convinced myself he was the person I deserved? I’m not proud of that or the way I justified his actions. But it’s my past and the only thing I can do is move forward and try to be better. The way you have.”
“It’s not the same thing,” he said. “I have a criminal record, Addison. Everything in my life will be just a little bit harder because of that. Traveling, working, everything. You don’t want to be dragged into that with me. I’m not a better man now than I was then. Don’t start thinking I am.”
“You are,” she insisted. “You’ve learned from your mistakes and you’re a good person. You were a good person before too. You just made some mistakes. But look at you now. You have your own business and you -”
“I have my own business because of my best friend. Not because of anything I did. You know why I moved here, Addison? Because it was the only way to get my own shop. There wasn’t a single fucking bank in all of New Cassel that would give an ex-convict a loan, not even if Gideon co-signed with me. The only reason I have my shop is because Gideon co-signed the loan