now. Color touches his cheeks, and he hesitates, like he’s not sure if he should acknowledge what he just felt.
I raise a brow at him, the one with the piercing. “Something on your mind?”
It seems best to brazen it out; I refuse to pretend I don’t feel as I do. He can think it’s ill-advised or that I’m too young, or a bad bet in other ways. God knows that’s all true. But it doesn’t mean I don’t want him, more than anything.
“Seems like there’s something on yours.” He summons a gentle, let her down easy smile. “While I’m flattered, I’m not the one for you, Shan.”
I shrug. “Too bad. You’re missing out.”
“I know.” Jesse sounds like he means that.
My ego poofs a little.
This isn’t easy when you’re wearing the polyester Pretzel Pirate uniform. But he’s seen me in my street clothes; he knows I can rock a look. I’m the kind of girl who scares males my own age and attracts those old enough to know better. Apparently Jesse thinks he falls into the latter category, but I don’t see it that way. A guy needs to be on the wrong side of forty-five for me to dub him a creeper for wanting to date me. To put it another way, my dad’s forty-two. I’m never going out with anyone older than my father; that’s the rule.
Because I’m curious—and there will never be a better time to find out—I ask, “Is this the first time you’ve noticed how I feel?”
Jesse shakes his head. “Only the most potent flash. I knew you were nursing a crush, but I figured you’d get over it without me needing to say anything.”
“Is this where you warn me off?”
“It would be wrong to take advantage while you’re feeling grateful. I extracted you from a bad situation and—”
“The way you visit me, I could take it for encouragement,” I interrupt, unable to listen to more bullshit about my alleged emotions. “You’ve found reasons to stop by three times in the last week. And the mall’s nowhere near the station.”
“I’m looking out for you,” he mutters.
“Then stop. I can take it from here.”
“Are you cutting me off?” He tries to say it lightly, but I can tell that this feels like a breakup to him, too. A weird one, certainly, but there’s a bond between us, one I can’t explain and didn’t ask for.
“It’s for the best,” I say quietly.
I’m never gonna smother these feelings as long as he’s coming round, fanning the flames. Though I played the role once, I refuse to be Jesse Saldana’s permanent damsel in distress, always yelling for help from a tower. I can make a rope out of bedsheets and climb down my own damn self. So he can take his white-knight complex and go tilt at somebody else’s windmill.
“Shan… I just want…” In the end, he trails off, unable to express whatever it is. “Look, can’t we be friends?”
“Not when I want to kiss you so bad that it’s all I think about.” There’s no point in playing coy. He knows.
For a few seconds, his gaze locks on mine, and there’s a swirl of superheated awareness in his eyes. Holy shit. He feels it too. I have no idea if it’s an echo of what I’m offering, or if he’s been suppressing this because he feels like a dirty old man. Before, I didn’t chase him because I thought he saw me as a kid. But if he can look at me, right here, right now, and find anything desirable? Then he wants me.
I just have to decide what I’m going to do about it.
Two
Jesse’s the first to look away. “There’re so many reasons why we shouldn’t—”
“But we only need one why we should.” I’m smiling now, confident that I know where this is going.
“And what’s that?”
“Because we want to. Pick me up tomorrow night at eight. You know where I live.” He helped me move in, after all.
“We can have dinner,” he decides. “But it’s not a date.”
Yeah, like a label’s gonna stop me. I merely smile. “You’ve got my number, right?”
In answer, he taps out a quick hey and my phone pings. I shouldn’t find this so endearing. “See you tomorrow, cowboy.”
After he leaves, the rest of my shift is…bearable. I shut the place down at nine, and by fifteen past, everything is sparkling clean. I take the bus home, wishing I had a car. Maria’s out with her boyfriend, no surprise there, so I strip off