Football and Ballet - Jason Collins Page 0,49

then?” Lou shrugged. “You drink too much and say something stupid? You accidentally like another girl’s picture on social media?”

“I told her that she was focusing too much on her career,” I paraphrased the problem, hoping that it made enough sense on its own. “And I told her that she might want to take it easy, or she might push herself too far.”

“Yikes.” Lou scrunched up his nose. “That’s kind of rich coming from you, isn’t it?”

“What do you mean?”

“Not to alarm you, but football’s kind of your life,” he joked. “It’s pretty hypocritical for you to tell someone else to slow it down when you haven’t slowed anything down since your freshman year of high school.”

“Yeah, but that’s different—”

“Is it?” Lou shrugged again. “First rule of not being a fuck-up when it comes to women? Don’t dole out rules you’re not willing to follow yourself.”

“Fuck.” I let out a heavy breath. “Fuck. I think you might be right.”

“Yeah. I think I might be right, too.” Lou smirked and patted me on the shoulder. “Try to make things right with Dakota as soon as you can, all right? This football shit… it’s nice but it’s not going to last forever. And when all is said and done, you’re going to want someone waiting for you at home. Someone who really gives a shit about you.”

“Thanks, Coach.”

“Yeah, yeah. The kumbaya moment is over.” Lou lightly chuckled, soon loudly blowing his whistle, and motioning to the rest of the team. “Everybody! If your ass is on the green, you need to get back to fucking work!”

14

Patrick

I was warming up backstage, taking my place among the other members of the dance company. We’d only spoken a few words to each other, each dancer seemingly in their own world preparing their audition for the day.

I was grateful for the silence, though. It was hard enough preparing for something like this when I had people trying to talk to me, the small talk taking up way too much space in my brain. I’d been in my own spot for at least thirty minutes by now, working through my turns and willing myself to be as light on my feet as humanly possible.

But just as I spun around in another tight circle, I noticed that Isaac, the dance company’s director, was standing right in my line of my view. I stopped, easily finding my balance before I looked over at him.

“Isaac?” My greeting came out as a question.

“Don’t sound so surprised to see me.” Isaac chuckled. “It’s not like I’m the director of the dance company or anything.”

“I know, it’s just… you usually don’t come backstage during auditions.”

“Well, this is a special… occasion.” Isaac’s mirth died on the word occasion, almost like he’d made a mistake choosing the phrase. “How have you been feeling lately, Patrick?”

“I’ve been fine. Why?” I was nervous about where the conversation was headed but trying my best to hide it from him. Isaac and I were friendly, but I knew better than to act like he wasn’t really in charge of our interactions. Because no matter how nice he was to me, he was still my boss, which meant that he permanently held all the cards.

“The owners of the company…,” he started, his voice low. “They’ve been worried about you.”

“What’s there to worry about?”

“That maybe you aren’t up to being the lead in Giselle this season,” he explained. “They’ve been eyeing Keaton for the lead role.”

“I’m sorry?” I couldn’t hide my offense. “They want to put Keaton up as the lead when he hasn’t even proved himself on stage yet? Sure, he’s a good dancer, but carrying an entire production—”

“Is something that you managed to do when you were Keaton’s age,” Isaac cut into my response. “He can do the role, Patrick. We both know he can. Which just means that you need to prove that you’d do it even better.”

“What’s the point in trying if they’ve already made up their minds?” I brought my hands to either side of my waist. “Is this whole audition process just a farce this time around? Have all the roles already been assigned?”

“None of the roles have been assigned, Patrick,” Isaac assured me. “I just wanted to give you a heads up on what the owners were thinking. You know I’ve always believed in you, and I know how much you’ve always wanted to be the lead in Giselle. So, go out there and give them hell, okay?”

“Okay,” I relented as I waved Isaac