I had expected Martin to be visibly upset again, but to my relief, he had returned to his more familiar persona of cagey businessman. His face was unreadable; his hands loosely clasped each other in a relaxed way.
I gathered Hayden closer to my chest. I understood that I would be taking him out of this house with me. I looked at his little pile of paraphernalia and gave a silent sigh. All to be hauled back up the motel stairs again. "How much did you see of Regina and Craig?" I asked, my voice as soft and simple as I could make it. Didn't want to put them on the defensive. "Well, I ain't been well," Hugh said apologetically. "I have good spells. I was having one about the time they got married. But I ain't been so good since about late July, and I'm afraid I take up most of Lenore's time." We had been fools to bring Hayden up here. I saw clearly that these people had not the resources, the legal obligation, or the slightest inclination to take care of Hayden even temporarily. How could we have been so blind? I had followed an anxious Martin's lead without a thought, consumed by my own conflicts. I should have listened to Angel; might have, if her baby hadn't decided that afternoon was the time to arrive. Angel had figured we should stay in Lawrenceton, and she'd been right.
I barely listened while the Harbors explained to Martin over and over again why they really hadn't had a chance to go visit the newlyweds since the wedding. The farm was far out in the country, they emphasized, and it was so hard for Hugh to get around. And, Lenore Harbor pointed out righteously, they hadn't been invited.
"Did Craig come to see you here?" Martin asked. He'd dropped by once or twice, the Harbors admitted, usually with that friend of his, that Rory.
It took a few more questions from Martin to establish that the couple hadn't seen Regina - except across a store - since a week after the wedding. But they'd seen Craig quite often.
"You know," Hugh said with an effort, his breathing increasingly difficult, "we thought, when Craig got married - and we stood in as his folks at the wedding - we thought Craig's old ways were over. Gina being a little older than him, we thought she'd hold him down, make him toe the line. We were - well, I guess Lenore and I are maybe a little ashamed to say it - kind of relieved. Craig turned out to be a bigger responsibility than we ever dreamed, him getting into trouble so often. We was glad to take him in, Lenore being his aunt and so on, and we took care of him through high school, but I won't say it was all peaches and cream. We'd raised girls before, but that boy was a whole different kit and caboodle."
He shook his shiny head sadly. "Nope, he and that Rory was always into trouble. We thought for a while that it was Rory who would marry Gina, when they began hanging around together."
Martin began our closing remarks, so to speak, and after a little more strained conversation, we rose to leave. We began tucking Hayden's bits and pieces wherever we could, with Martin once again holding the umbrella. I nuzzled Hayden's fuzzy head, and wondered what we should do next. As we pulled away from the broken curb, the silence in the Mercedes might well be described as thick. And tense.
I looked out at the passing streets of this depressing little farming town. I had no idea what Martin was thinking, but I knew if he asked me if I liked having a baby now that I had one, I would pinch him where it hurt, because I was so bitterly amazed at myself. I'd wanted a baby. Now I had one. And I was trying with all my might to get rid of him.
Partly, I thought, this was because the care of him had been dumped on me. Partly, it was because I hadn't had the hormonal buildup that natural mothers get.
But mostly, it was because I knew - I just knew - that his mother would turn up sooner or later, and Hayden would be gone. If the claimant wasn't Regina, it would be someone else with a better title to this child than mine, which was almost nonexistent. What point was there in