sit as close as we wanted until the food came, and then we'd need more elbow room. But until then, Micah and I held hands, but that's too passive a word. We played our fingers up and down on each other's. We made small circles on each other's hands. I drew my nails lightly down the back of his hand, which made him close his eyes, lips parting. He returned the favor by drawing his nails down the inside of my wrist, and that made me have to fight off a visible shudder. "Okay, point taken, I'll back down." My voice was breathy.
"You guys are so much fun," Jason said.
"Yes, they are," Nathaniel said, and some tone in his voice made me look at him, and I was suddenly very aware that I was staring into his face from inches away. Micah and I were still holding hands, but I was left wondering if I'd somehow neglected Nathaniel. I opened my mouth to ask something that blunt, when he said, "You and Micah always have to touch each other more than just a hug and a kiss. Until you do there's this tension between you; always."
"Do I apologize for that?" I asked, and my voice was still breathy.
"No," he said, voice low, "you're the same way with me." His hand found my skirt and began to slide down my thigh until his fingers touched hose. He slid his hand over my hose, to the inner thigh. My free hand grabbed his hand, and my other hand flexed in Micah's, who grabbed back, and the pressure of his hand both helped me think and made me think about both of them, in a way that wasn't helpful at all.
My pulse was suddenly in my throat and it wasn't because I was afraid. Mary had said she'd take a long lunch, and that suddenly didn't seem like a bad idea. I frowned, and tried to think a little better than that.
Nathaniel leaned in and whispered against my face, breath so warm, "Too much?"
I nodded, not trusting my voice.
"I don't think this is going to make her laugh," Micah said.
I shook my head.
Nathaniel backed up enough so he wasn't breathing his words directly on my skin. "I'm not jealous of you and Micah, because you still react as if me touching you is new."
I turned and looked at him, frowning at little. "Are you insinuating that other people have gotten tired of you touching them?"
"Now you've gone and made her think," Jason said. "Thinking will not make her smile."
I gave him an unfriendly look.
He held his hands up, as if to say, Don't shoot the messenger. "You know I'm right."
Nathaniel said, "I'm saying that other people have wanted me for a night, or a few days a week, or a month, but you never seem to grow tired of me."
I just looked at him. "They were crazy."
He smiled, not the sexy smile, but the big, bright, happy smile. The one I hadn't even known he had in him until we'd been together for months. It made him look even younger than twenty-one, and I had the feeling that maybe that smile was what he might have been if he hadn't lost his family and been on the streets before age ten.
Jason leaned around Nathaniel and said, "I'm remembering why I don't go to lunch with all of you."
"Why?" I asked.
He gave us all a look.
"I think Jason feels left out," Micah said.
It was one of those moments that Miss Manners didn't cover. I had sex with Jason, but he was my friend, not my boyfriend. There was a difference. So if your guy friend and sometimes lover feels left out when you're cuddling your boyfriends at lunch, do you owe him a cuddle?
"I'm closer," Nathaniel said, "but I think he'd rather have the kiss from you."
Jason, being Jason, then put his arm around Nathaniel and said, "It's nothing personal, dude, but she's not a dude." He did a drawling movie-dude voice to go with the line.
It made us all smile, and I leaned past Nathaniel to give Jason a quick kiss. It was almost as if now that we had the touching out of the way we could talk.
We'd found out on the walk over that the dance class that they were taking was going well, but the routine that they were trying to teach some of the other dancers from Jean-Claude's clubs had hit a snag.
"You said you'd explain the problem you're