if I had to make a guess.”
“Let me see if I understand this. Audrey, long before she even met me, was possibly seeing Chief Morrison, who likely allied himself with gorgons to kidnap Janet long after my divorce from Audrey.”
“And was probably banging her the whole damned time. Except for that bit where she was playing you. Or something.” Crap. “I mean, she may not have been playing you?”
“Oh, she was playing me as much as I was playing her, Bailey. We didn’t get married because we loved each other. We got married because I got tired of being hunted by a bunch of women, and she promised she wouldn’t need much attention and liked my looks.”
“Have you been checked for any diseases? Maybe we should both get tested. You know, just to make sure. Because now I’m utterly creeped out.”
“I have been tested several times, and with a few notable exceptions involving pixie dust, I wasn’t sleeping with her. Definitely not often.”
“That’s probably a good thing. But at least it looks like she was using condoms?”
“Let’s confirm that, shall we?”
“Good thought.”
Quinn retrieved the files from the back, and we spent twenty minutes searching for pharmacy receipts. Sure enough, she liked buying condoms from the pharmacy, and the times the amounts hadn’t matched, she’d purchased a few other products for her evening adventures—likely with Chief Morrison.
Ew, ew, ew. “We’re going to that hotel and eating dinner, after which I’m going to begin an exhaustive therapy session with you. Also, with you as an exception, her taste in men is absolutely disgusting.”
In record time, he returned the file folders to the back of the SUV, got behind the wheel, and started the engine. “I love the way you think, Mrs. Samuel Quinn.”
“What? You’re hot in that jacket.”
He smiled. “Well, I’m certainly glad you think so. You’re not so bad yourself.”
I regarded my laptop with a sigh. “This is a mess. You really should quality check your wives, Sam. I mean, you did an excellent job of getting rid of the first one, but you may have jumped the gun on the second one.”
“If you say so, Calamity Queen.”
“See? That right there is evidence you need to at least make sure you’re marrying a quality woman. I’m a disaster on two and four feet.”
“You picked me, and I’m not letting you talk yourself out of how perfect we are for each other. I heard you very clearly, Bailey. You wanted to know how you could make the bastard marry you, so I helped you figure that out.”
He really had. “It turns out you’re not really a bastard, your parents are really nice, and I even like the rest of your family despite their oddities.” I sighed. “My mouth always gets me into trouble.”
“You’re perfect for me, and that’s all I care about. I should have quality checked Audrey a little better, but realistically? Because of her, I now have you. That means a lot to me. Life won’t be perfect, but while you’re a disaster on two and four feet, you’re my disaster on two and four feet. So, we’ll go figure out why and how the hell Audrey had gotten into so many messes, put an end to the rabies and gorgon dust issues, and start the rest of our lives without that looming over our heads. Will we find out everything? Probably not. But I’ll sleep better at night knowing we stopped two dangerous threats to humanity.”
“That sounds like a plan to me.”
“Good. Now chin up, work your magic with numbers while I drive, and prepare yourself. I need therapy. I’m terribly distraught and in dire need of your love.”
“And you say I’m something else, Quinn.”
“Well, you are.”
“Kettle,” I accused.
“But I’m a very happy kettle, my beautiful pot.”
I rolled my eyes and focused on the spreadsheets, wondering what other secrets they hid.
Quinn made up for lost time through a mix of driving a little too fast for my comfort and refusing to stop until we reached the hotel, resulting in us arriving right on time. As promised, dinner was ready shortly after our arrival, and rather than worry about rabies, gorgon dust, and Audrey McGee’s long-lived treachery and betrayal, I spent the rest of the night with my husband.
The evening was quiet, and I wondered what storm lurked in our future.
When morning came, I woke first, tiptoeing around the hotel room to let Quinn sleep, a rarity thanks to his genetics. I tidied and packed, and when I ran out