the ground was too rough to continue with the buggy. I haven’t seen Pat since Conor argued with him and it worries me. Even though I hate that he mentioned Conor to the detectives, I hope nothing bad has happened to him.
I had planned to tell Amanda about the text Vicky sent to Conor when she got here, but I’m too busy to get into that conversation and probably now is not the right time.
‘You go and get ready,’ she says. ‘I’ll wait here.’
Conor is stepping out from the en suite when I enter the room, his long lean body wrapped in a towel, his hair combed back off his forehead. He smiles and it lifts my heart, the way he seems so happy to see me. I hope it lasts.
‘I’m going to have a shower. Amanda is with Shay.’
‘Great,’ he says, walking over and grabbing me by the waist, pulling me against his body. The gentle smell of his aftershave makes me take a deep breath and when he kisses my lips, part of me melts. Conor pulls his face away. ‘Laura, everything is going to be okay.’
I want to cry, to scream, to ask him what the hell is going on. Why is this happening to us? But I don’t. I place my hand on his face and smile. ‘I hope so,’ I say. He looks deep into my eyes. ‘I promise it will,’ he says, placing his hand on top of mine. ‘Let’s enjoy today.’
Conor is wearing a brand-new suit in a light, silvery grey which he ordered especially for Shay’s big day. His shirt is also new, light blue, though he called it by some fancy name for light blue when he showed it to me. He has worn the shoes once before, on the day of our wedding.
My dress is not so new. I’ve worn it before to a wedding – when Alice from Imanage got married. It was the first time Conor met most of my colleagues. They were all very impressed with the man I’d managed to nab and I might have imagined it, but I felt I was treated differently by them after that. They seemed to have more respect for me, asking my opinion, inviting me for coffee and not just as a tagalong. I also think it’s the night I got pregnant.
My dress is a nude brocade and – most importantly – it fits me which I’m delighted about. I thought getting rid of the baby weight would be harder. It’s moving quicker than I thought. I suppose having your husband accused of murder will do that to a girl. With my hair done and my makeup on I’ll be fine. Thankfully, I have my Louboutins. If I lose confidence in my look, I’ll just flash the red.
Conor’s shoes are sitting on the floor by the bed when I step out of the en suite, bringing me back to our wedding day. The day I became Mrs Laura Caldwell. It seems like such a long time ago. The church, the aisle, the panic, was he actually going to go through with it? It was only seven months ago but so much has happened since. Mrs Laura Caldwell has learned a lot. How big an influence her husband is in this not-so-quaint village. How money is no medicine for a tortured mind and that first impressions don’t always last.
* * *
When the battle to look beautiful is won, we arrive at the church. Shay is like an angel in my arms as we walk to the entrance where Abbie and Noel are standing waiting. I’m nervous. Fr Cormac notices and his kind words soon relax me. After prayers and procedures, he invites the christening party to the altar. I feel like I’m on stage with all the people staring at us. Amanda looks like a movie star at my side. Noel also looks like a movie star beside Conor, only one from a different kind of movie. One with gangsters in it.
The priest lifts the jug of water which he’s blessed and now I get nervous again. I hate this bit. It seems so cruel. With great enthusiasm he pours the water over Shay’s tiny little skull. Up to now Shay has been playing ball, not a whimper out of him. But now he’s crying. I want to stop the priest, tell him that’s enough, he’s christened. But Fr Cormac has other ideas and doesn’t want to waste any of his