turns the page as if searching for something to contradict me with. I’m rocking Shay gently from side to side, eager to find out what is going on with the cops, when she speaks.
‘And after the birth of your first baby, Laura, did you suffer from any postnatal depression?’
Chapter Thirty-Two
I wonder how long he’s been standing there. Did he hear?
Conor is in the hallway when I finally get the nurse to leave. She insists on calling again next week and I have to agree or she will never go.
‘Everything okay?’ Conor says, putting his arms out to take Shay from me.
‘Yes,’ I say, looking closely at his eyes for any sign that he might have been listening. When he leans forward and kisses my head, I’m reassured.
‘Well. Are we doing a good job?’ He jokes to the nurse.
‘Indeed you are,’ she says.
Nurse Elaine pulls her jacket closed and walks to the door. I rush after her and open it before she gets there. She hands me a piece of paper with a mobile number on it.
‘I’ll see you next week but if you need me in the meantime Laura, do call.’
I stop just short of pushing her out the door. Conor is looming in the background, imitating Shay’s gurgling noises.
‘Will do. Thanks.’
Breathing a sigh of relief when the door eventually closes, I glance through the side window, making sure she gets into her car and leaves.
‘The cops didn’t stay long.’ Conor says.
It’s then I notice their car is gone.
‘No, they didn’t. Did you see my text telling you they were here to talk to Pat?’ I move past Conor into the kitchen. He follows me.
‘I was halfway home when I saw it, thought I’d continue, take the opportunity to see my little boy.’ He kisses Shay. ‘And my beautiful wife, of course.’
‘I wonder what they wanted with Pat. Do you think he knows something?’
‘Pat? Huh. No, they’re probably just ticking a box.’
Conor places Shay into his baby bouncer and goes to the fridge. His tall body hovers in search of something to eat. He looks so nice, so sexy in his dark suit. I don’t want to lose this man.
‘Why were you scared, Laura?’
‘What?’
With a slice of ham in his hand, he turns and looks at me before shoving it into his mouth in one go.
‘When the police came. You were scared.’
‘I… I don’t know. I guess anyone would get scared if they saw the cops at their door. They don’t usually call with good news.’
Conor laughs. He turns back to the fridge and takes another slice of ham in his hand.
‘Well I don’t want you to worry, Laura, you sounded extremely panicked on the phone. You have nothing to worry about.’ Shoving the meat in his mouth, he walks over and holds my face in his hands. When he’s swallowed the mouthful, Conor pulls me close to him and kisses me. The heat of his body against mine makes me feel safe. For a brief moment, I relax, forget about the cops, the card, the nurse, the words I heard over the baby monitor. But it doesn’t last long. When he pulls away, I feel my strength leave with him.
Chapter Thirty-Three
And so it begins. The circus. Or what would definitely pass for one. Conor invited Maggie to help me arrange the christening because, as he sees it, she’s very good at that sort of thing.
Apparently Father Cormac was delighted to be doing the ceremony this Sunday.
What a week it’s turning out to be for him. A funeral and a christening. He even thanked Conor, believing the decision was made to boost the morale of the village, not to facilitate Noel.
The phone call to Amanda didn’t get the same reception. She thought it was a mad idea and seemed a bit taken aback that I hadn’t put up a better fight. She expressed disappointment at not being able to go on a shopping trip for the outfits we were going to look lovely in. She hummed and hawed about her availability, saying she had plans for Sunday. But eventually she caved in and became excited.
* * *
‘Lots to do, lots to do.’ Maggie walks into the kitchen with an old notebook in her hand, her hair and makeup put on hold due to the immediacy of the visit. I notice her age is more pronounced in the greyness of her skin, the wrinkles on her forehead, around her eyes. Her dry hair is tied up in a bun, revealing grey