out that she could hear them, and she wasn’t little. “No, neither of you are anymore, are you?”
“No. But that doesn’t mean we don’t still need you in our lives.” He drove to their home, a place where they’d pack up what little they’d need, and then Emmie would take over. Before he’d left the Prince Foundation today, he’d gotten permission to stop by his home for a few things.
They really didn’t need all that much. Just bottles of water, something for Olivia to snack on, as well as some changes of clothing. He was of the opinion that everywhere they went, there had to be something to change into. It had come from his nerves.
He wasn’t just nervous all the time. It was just what they called it now. Collier suffered from depression. Not just being sad, but major chronic depression, or MCD, which would plague him for days on end if he didn’t take his medication. It was, he knew, getting harder and harder to keep himself in control. But having the little things he needed around him and someone accepting of them was what he needed when things were really bad.
The clothing was one of them. If he was feeling particularly down, he’d only go and slip on something else. It didn’t have to be much different than what he had on. Even if it was only the color of his pants, he would put them on as his happy clothing. So in changing, his head would associate his putting them on as a change. A change that he could deal with.
Then there were the games. Collier wasn’t a person that would sit and play games a lot. Rarely before his wife had died had he had time. Drinking had taken up any time he’d had free, or when he should have been working. But now he had three games he would play. A car game, a trucking game, and a game he played at home. They were simple, yet very effective.
As Emmie drove, he would say his alphabet frontwards then backwards until the need to throw himself from a moving truck passed. That, too, was getting harder and harder to keep in control. He looked at Emmie when she changed lanes.
“I was wondering if you’d given any thought to the idea of moving.” Emmie looked at him, then back at the road, asking him if he had. “I have. Not as much as I should have, I think, but I have thought about it. Moving into another home, the doctor told me, might be just what I need, or it might trigger something that will harm me. I’m afraid to find out. Are you?”
“Yes. And no. I think his idea about going to see homes was a good idea. So long as you’re in charge of the actual being able to buy the house. I’m not to influence you in any way about it.” Collier wasn’t sure he thought that was a good idea. He was getting up there, and it would be Emmie that would have it after he was gone. “There isn’t any rush on it, Dad. You know as well as I that we could stay where we are for the rest of our lives and be happy. But as you’ve pointed out, the house isn’t really big enough for the three of us with only two bedrooms. I have the money to buy us whatever we want. And as Olivia pointed out, we can always add to the one we have. It’s up to you.” She looked at him. “Whatever you want to do.”
They all three laughed. Olivia came up from the back and kissed him on the cheek. She’d not move around the truck too much when they were on the road, but he was always ready for a quick hug or kiss from them. Somehow it was like getting a supercharge from an electrical outlet when they did that for him.
They were at the jail by ten in the morning. Like Emmie had backed him in to be loaded up, she did the same when they delivered. This time, he had to get out of the truck to make sure the seals were put on, and that the prisoners unloading the truck only took what belonged to them. Collier watched them carefully, his nerves getting the better of him as he stood there watching the men unload the truck.
~*~
“Damn it, breathe, Dad.” She didn’t want to hit him, but it