my mom’s boyfriend at the time. About how he was creeping on me and touching me.” Karen’s voice cracks. She clears her throat, sits higher and adds, “Your mom asked if I’d told my mom, and I had, but she didn’t believe me. So, your mom—she said she’d take care of it… That guy was gone the next day. Just packed up his bags and left. Never heard from him again. God, your mom was my hero. She’s always been my hero, Ava. She was like a mother to me when I didn’t have one.” Karen sighs. “And I think that’s why I took it so hard—what happened to her. And I’m sorry that I couldn’t be there for you the way you needed me. I’m sorry I stopped coming around, and I know it’s so fucking selfish, but… she was such a strong, powerful force in my life and to see her—” Karen breaks off on a sob, rubbing her eyes. “Seeing her like that killed me, A. And I just couldn’t. I don’t have your strength. And I’m sorry.”
Ava’s silent. No verbal response. But she takes Karen’s hand in hers. A peace offering.
Behind us, a throat clears. Rhys makes his way around us, saying, “Well, you know what my favorite memory of that house is?”
Ava looks up at him.
“My favorite memory is standing at my window watching you try on bikinis in your bedroom.”
“Oh, my God,” Ava whispers, shaking her head.
Rhys smirks. “Little boobies out like what.”
“Shut up!” Ava kicks his foot.
I say, “I’m about to punch you.”
“He’s not worth it,” Ava says, turning to me. After a heavy sigh, she asks, “Will you take me home?”
“I’ll take you wherever you want.”
Ava
Trevor’s sitting on our porch when Karen pulls up to the curb. I say goodbye to Rhys and Karen in the front seat and wait for Connor to get out first. “I’ll see you later, okay?” I ask him.
He nods. “Whenever you need me.”
I hug him quickly, then start up my driveway. Trevor stands when I get close. “Jesus, Ava, I’ve been so worried.”
I fall into his open arms, his wide chest rising against me as if it’s the first time he’s been able to breathe. “I’m sorry,” he says. “I’m so sorry.”
“I know,” I tell him. “Me, too.”
I release him and sit on the porch steps, waiting for him to join me before saying, “Trevor, I’m not going to college. At least not yet.”
“Okay,” he breathes out.
“I feel like all we do lately is fight. You against me. Me against Mom.” I push down the knot in my throat. “I don’t want you to ever feel like I don’t appreciate everything you’ve done for us. Believe me, I carry so much guilt—”
“Ava,” he cuts in, but I don’t let him speak, because I need to say what’s on my mind.
“I know you miss your old life and your independence, and I don’t blame you.” I blow out a breath. “I just need to get through the rest of the school year, and I’m going to find a way to fix everything. I promise. But first, I need to fix myself. Because I’ve been miserable, Trevor, and I just… I want to be happy again.”
Trevor smiles, but it’s sad.
“And hopefully I can find strength in that happiness so that I can be the person I want to be. Not just for me but for everyone else around me.”
With his arm around my neck, he pulls me closer to him. “I want that for you, too, Ava.”
“I miss who I used to be,” I tell him honestly. “And I miss my old friends.”
“Yeah?”
“I miss Karen and Rhys and…”
“Connor?” he asks.
I nod. “I know you’re not his biggest fan right now, and it’s not like I want to be with him like that, but he made me happy, Trevor. Even when we were just friends.”
“Okay,” he breathes out.
“I just… I need to find a balance, and I need to start taking care of myself, because I can’t keep going on like this, Trevor. I just can’t.”
Chapter 8
Ava
I had to practically shove Trevor out the door and into a cab so he wouldn’t miss his flight to Colorado. He was adamant on staying, worried about how I’d do without him. I had to promise to call three times a day and answer every one of his text messages within five minutes. Peter’s come by to check on me every night Trevor’s been gone, but things with us haven’t been the