from the fridge, Cage snags the bottle of syrup. Brody gives Mom a kiss on the cheek and takes over at the stove while Cage and I sit at the table.
“How was the party?” Mom wipes her hands on her apron and ruffles Cage’s hair.
“Nice.” Cage smiles at her. “Wish you’d been there.”
“Oh, you don’t want some old lady crashing your party.” She threads her fingers in his hair and gives a slight tug. “I hope you behaved.” She looks to me for confirmation.
Mom knows us all too well.
I lie through my teeth. “They behaved like angels.”
“Devils are more like it.” She gives another yank.
“Ow!” Cage sits straighter and grabs at her wrist.
“As much as I can’t wait for the blessing of grandchildren, it will be after you’re married. You’d better have used protection.”
Our mother is incredibly old fashioned. If it were up to her, we’d all be celibate monks up and until the night of our wedding. Fortunately, or unfortunately, she’s well aware of our reputations around town. We’re no angels.
She releases Cage and turns. Before I can blink, her towel snaps out and bites Brody on the ass.
“Mom!” Brody rubs his ass where she smacked him.
“And you as well. If you sleep with them, wear protection.”
“We always use protection.” Brody gives a grumble.
“And do you treat them with respect?”
His cheeky grin flashes for half a second, then disappears when she turns the full force of her disapproving frown at him. I hold back a chuckle while Brody withers under that glare.
“As much as they give me. They use me as much as I use them. It’s a dog eat dog world out there. Not like when you were young.”
“You can’t afford a surprise baby.” She jabs her finger at him. “And I’m not raising your rug-rat because you forgot to tie its mother to you with a ring.” She props her hands on her hips and spins to Cage and me. “That goes for the two of you as well. I want grandbabies, but not before you give me daughters-in-law.”
I can’t help but laugh. “You have nothing to worry about from me.”
“Bullshit.” Cage punches me in the arm.
I rub out the sting. “It’s true. I’ve sworn off women. I’m done with them.”
“Ah, my poor boy, Erin really did a number on you.”
How the fuck does she know about Erin? I glance at my brothers but they return identical shrugs. Mom’s sixth sense is scary.
“Don’t worry, you’ll find someone. It’s always when you’re not looking that the one you’re meant to be with walks into your life.”
I shrug off her maternal pep talk. I really am done with women. I need a break from all of it, besides, it’s the busiest time of year and there are plenty of things to keep me occupied.
“Ace is just pouting. Give him a week, or two, and he’ll be fucking anything with two legs.” Brody throws my words back at me, but I’m not dumb enough to take the bait. Not when Mom stomps over to him and smacks him upside the head.
“You will not speak like that in my house.” She follows the smack to his head with a swat to his ass. We may be closing in on thirty, but we’ll always be her little boys.
Cage snickers and I thread my fingers together behind my head in smug satisfaction.
“Sorry, mom.” Brody rubs the back of his neck.
“Sit at the table. You’re incorrigible, and I’m serious about using condoms.”
We give a communal groan as she goes on a tirade about condoms, sexually transmitted diseases, and respecting the sanctity of our bodies as well as the women we sleep with.
Her boys don’t have sex.
We sleep with the women we fuck.
Cage, Brody, and I exchange looks. We’d change the conversation, but when she gets like this, it’s best to let the tirade run its course.
We shovel pancakes and bacon into our mouths while Cage tells her all about his latest assignment. We spend all day with our mother, taking time to fix things up around the house. Brody makes his famous burgers for lunch and Cage digs deep in the freezer and finds ribs to thaw for dinner.
We shoot the shit all day, loving this time we get to hang out. Mom is beside herself, fussing over us, grilling us about life and our plans. She’s a mother hen, but she’s our mother hen. We play cards with her, put together one of her favorite puzzles, and let the long day pass.
It’s been