at him in that way, more like a brother than someone she has romantic intentions towards. As she turns to me, her smile changes to one of friendly curiosity. “Good luck, Clarissa. May the gods and goddesses look over you today.”
As soon as she leaves and it’s just Tor and me in the tent, my nerves ramp up a notch. We may not have completed our bond yet, but with my emotions running high, he’ll be able to feel them. However, it doesn’t take a genius to see my anxiety in my taut shoulders and wringing hands. I feel the loss of Vaeril like a void, each step he takes making it more difficult. Tor’s closeness helps, but without our bond being sealed, it’s not the same, and I can see the strain on his face as he feels my need.
“Remind me again why they couldn’t stay for this?” I don’t need to voice who I mean by ‘they.’ He knows I mean the elves, and even then, one in particular.
Vaeril had made it clear that he wasn’t happy he had to leave me alone for this part of the ceremony, but he reluctantly accepted this was part of the rite. At the time when Tor explained it, I agreed with the explanation. Right now, however, I’m regretting that decision.
Tor’s watching me with a careful, guarded expression. It’s obvious he hates how stressed this is making me. “When we walk in, the tribes need to see you as strong. If they see you with the elves, they will look like guards, and that will make you appear weak.” Looking down at my hands, I ball them into fists at the idea they might think I was weak, and my attention catches on my new tattoo. “You need to make an impression. You need to take your place here and show those who doubt you who you really are.” Tracing the intricate tribal pattern on my skin with my eyes, I nod my head slowly as he speaks. He’s right. He closes the distance between us and places his hands on my arms, making me drag my gaze up to the face I know so well. His intense regard makes him look fierce, along with the sharpness of his features, tattoos, and dark hair. But despite all this, I know he would never hurt me. “Clarissa, you’re fine. You’re ready for this.”
If he believes that, then it must be true, right? A tingle in my wrist makes me look down to see it glowing brightly, and my excitement grows as I feel the Mother’s presence fill the tent. Closing my eyes, I let her power wash over me, gasping as she pours her love into me, basking in her comforting embrace. I’ve not felt her this strongly since I was in Arhaven, and it feels like returning home. I don’t know why she’s suddenly so much stronger, but I know she’s here for a reason.
Beloved, you are ready. I am with you. Her voice is clear and firm in my mind, and as I open my eyes, Tor is watching me with wide, wonder-filled eyes. I feel strong and powerful, like I’m prepared to take on the world.
“I’m ready now.”
Walking from the tent, I make sure my back is straight and my head is held high, taking the path I’ve already memorised specifically for this occasion. The feathers in my hair catch in the gentle breeze and brush against my face, but I don’t push them away, I simply keep walking. There is no need for the neutral mask I’d been practising in the mirror, as the Mother has filled me with an inner light that assures me I’m doing what I need to. Some may assume it’s confidence, but it’s simply belief in my goddess.
Tor follows a step behind me as my ‘guardian’ for the ceremony, hence the matching clothing. As the high chief, Revna will be conducting the ritual today, thus she was unable to present me, so Tor offered to take her place as my guardian. It’s unorthodox, but then nothing about my situation is normal.
It’s a slight incline up to the meeting point, and as we weave our way through the rows and rows of tents, it’s almost completely silent, since everyone is waiting for us at the top. It’s not a far walk, but it has my heart pounding as I climb a short, jagged staircase cut into a boulder and the waiting tribes come into