Fires of War (War and Deceit #4) - Erin O'Kane Page 0,22

returned, he was deemed unworthy of a place at her side because anything less than perfection is seen as a weakness to the elf queen. The familiar anger bubbles through my veins again, and my hands clench into fists at my side. Is he only telling me this because he thinks I’m drunk? That my inhibitions are lowered, and I’ll tell him the truth? I don’t know, but I’m glad he’s finally sharing his pain with me, even if it hurts to hear it. It makes sense now why he’s been acting the way he has, why he’s been separating and isolating himself from the others, but he can never seem to stay away for long. I want to ask why, but I’m afraid of the answer.

“That’s not true,” I retort, my eyes meeting his. Eldrin has never been nothing to me. There has always been something there between us, even at the beginning when I thought he was arrogant, but I have no idea how to qualify what any of this is. It’s nothing like the connection I have with my mates, but for some reason, I can’t stay away from him and he’s never far from my thoughts, even though half of the time I want to throttle him. It’s intense and my emotions are heightened around him. My mates all seem to bring out a side of me that makes me better, that makes me more, whereas Eldrin… The good, the bad, and the ugly, all of my emotions are exposed around him, so much so that it can be hard to be around him sometimes.

He’s watching me closely as all of this goes through my mind. Like he’s reading my thoughts, he nods his head slightly. “Then you answer my question.” He closes the distance between us again with that supernatural speed, catching me off guard as he stares down at me. “Why do you care if I’m okay?” His voice is harsh, his breathing heavy like he’s just run a long distance, his golden eyes narrowed on me.

Heart hammering in my chest, I realise how close we are, how close we are to crossing a line. “I don’t know.” My words are a whisper as I don’t trust my voice not to break. I can’t give him the answer he wants, and I’m scared he’s going to leave, that he’ll go and it’ll be because of me. “I know I shouldn’t care,” I continue, my voice raspy, his eyes still locked on me like a lion watching his prey, and I know he’s thinking the same thing I am. I shouldn’t care, not like this, not when I have fated mates. “But I do.” Taking a deep breath, I prepare myself for his rejection.

He nods as if he expected the answer and turns to go. I thought I was ready for him to leave, that I’d be okay with him departing. After all, I knew he wouldn’t be okay with my answer. He wants to know where his place is, why I care for him, and my reply was, ‘I don’t know.’ Of course he was going to be unhappy. Except pain tears through me as I reach out to stop him from leaving, my hand landing on his arm.

“Wait, don’t go. Please—”

Spinning around, he looks down at my hand on his arm before following it up to my stricken expression. Surprise crosses his face, and before he can stop himself, he pulls me into his arms in a very un-Eldrin-like move. “I’m not leaving, I promise.” His voice is gruff, his body rigid, as if he’s not used to comforting people. I’m so shocked he’s trying to console me that I stiffen against him. With a frustrated sigh, he releases me and steps back. “I just need some fresh air to think.”

This time as he walks away, I watch him and know he’ll come back, but I can feel his pain and the loneliness that aches inside his chest, his need to belong. I’ve felt that pain myself, and I think that shared experience is part of what pulls us together. I can’t let him leave feeling like that.

“Eldrin,” I call out, stepping towards him before I even realise what I’m doing. He stops and looks over his shoulder at me, but he doesn’t turn around, his golden eyes almost glowing in the glimmer of the firelight. “I may not have the answers you want.” I keep walking until there are only a few