want to try to do better. But even she wasn’t able to break the Creed curse. I wanted out, but it was too late. I’d created life. Choices had to be made.
It was time to break the curse. I discovered I have a bad heart, Aries. How ironic. The Creed blood is tainted. My father’s side is afflicted with heart disease and other associated ailments. I entered the hospital 13 months ago, and was told that the damage was so severe, it would be a miracle if I lived another year. I was in quite a bit of pain but made diligent efforts to hide it. Getting surgery, though I could afford any medicines and surgeries I wished, would have only prolonged the inevitable. My heart is black – there was no need to try to revive it. That would be a waste of everyone’s time and energy. Sooner than later, I was going to die from it.
But, being me, I wished to do it on my own terms. So, with the help of a medical professional who shall remain nameless, I have a cocktail of prescriptions which will allow me to set the exact date of my departure from this earth. Which will happen three days after I finish writing this letter. I shall drink the concoction, get into my bed, well-dressed of course, cross my arms over my chest, and go to sleep. It will look as if I had a heart attack – and of course, that would be technically true. The only difference will be, I’m assured, that I will not feel anything because under this plan, I would be removed from any feeling, pain, or realization of my situation.
So, if we wish to be technical, my dear woman who should have been my wife, and my only son, when you find this writing, I would have already committed suicide.
There’s no honor in such action in our culture. There is shame, condemnation, and threats of perishing in Hell. Yet, this gave me time to reflect over my life and how I wished to leave this place, regardless of my struggles with my upbringing and beliefs. I cannot give Sandra her voice back, but I can give her my truth. I cannot go back in time and take care of you, Aries, as a father should, but I can show that with my death, I am leaving you everything I have ever loved – not because money buys love, but because love buys forgiveness.
I am asking for your forgiveness. The same forgiveness I could not give to my own father. I do not deserve it, but you are not me, and that’s a good thing. I have watched you from afar. You are free in your soul. You are brave in your heart. You aren’t afraid to love. You work hard. People enjoy your company. You’re intelligent and resourceful. YOU’RE MY SON. Tell everyone that you are mine. I want to be exposed.
Aries paused, fighting with his emotions. He closed his eyes and his muscles stiffened. He almost jumped out of his skin when he felt his mother rest her hand on his leg. After taking a deep, ragged breath, he continued.
This destruction must stop with me. Creed men are not faithful. We’re domineering. We can be ruthless. Greedy. Phony. We put on façades. We are brutal. Acts of cruelty are not foreign to us. But when I saw you with your son, Aries, I realized: YOU were the key. You were better than the seven keys. Better than my properties and the principles I’d assigned to them. Better than me in every sense of the word. You are everything I wanted to be, but wasn’t courageous enough to pursue.
Aries wiped a tear from his eye.
Aries, continue to be better than me, son. You do that by not simply owning your flaws and mistakes, but having the courage to correct them by any means necessary. The money and assets I have left you are for you to use for the betterment of your family and those you care for. You’ve earned it simply by being the man that I could not.
My death is the best thing to ever happen to you. It kills the end of a horrible legacy of fatherhood, and brings a new, fresh start. And that new start begins with YOU. Well done.
Love with all of my heart,
Benjamin Creed
He sat there for the longest, watching the gloved hand of the moon gliding along his