but I’ve put them in what I believe to be the best order. All of them are addressed to you and me, and he calls them love letters.”
He began to read, page after page, pausing every now and again to gauge her reaction. Her body didn’t move, it was if she were frozen. Something strange was going on. She wasn’t out of it, half asleep, or indifferent. In fact, she was glued to his every word. Sitting up tall against her pillow, eyes wide open. He continued on until he got to the final letter – the one left for him at the mausoleum. The one that tapped him on the shoulder, made his blood drain, and now haunted him.
He unfolded it, revealing the words. “Mama, when I was going through my father’s house, I had found seven keys, but they didn’t match any of his properties. I didn’t understand why they were with his legal papers. Now, I know. He explained what they were for in this last letter…”
This letter is hard for me to write, but I suppose I should begin with, Dear Aries and Sandra. Aries, if you’ve found this letter at my grave site, that means you’ve gone above and beyond to hear what I have to say and adhere to the terms of my will. I needed to be certain that you would do what was necessary, for this was a journey we both took, not only you. It was important that you travel with me, not just hear my words on paper. Getting you on the different properties meant that we were together – in some final way, if you will.
A father is supposed to teach his son. I have taught you nothing but what not to be. However, this an opportunity for me to in fact teach you a lesson. You must trust yourself. You must believe that there is always more than what we see with our eyes. I can show you better than I can tell you, so that is what I did. I needed your feet on the soil where I had been. I needed you to breathe the air I had breathed, and talk to the people I knew. These experiences would tell you who I am – only, it would be you in charge, forming your own opinion based on the information you discovered. It would be organic and authentic. Trustworthy.
Aries, as I was getting my affairs in order for my final will and testament, I realized there were a few more things you don’t know about me that you may find useful toward accepting who I was as a man, as a person. For one, you probably know by now that I became intrigued with the Japanese way of life and ideologies. This began in my early 20s. I was at times on a mission to dig deeper within myself, all the while trying to keep the appearance of a conservative, level-headed person who didn’t entertain anything outside of the Christian doctrine.
I was drawn to this nevertheless and managed to not only incorporate many of the principles into my life, but also to select the properties that I would purchase for personal use and investments. What’s interesting is, the very thing I questioned and resented at the time – Westernized religion – still called to me. On a whim one summer in 1987, I attended a Christian seminar in Albany, New York. There, we were told about the seven keys of life which are: 1. God first. 2. Love one another. 3. Never hate. 4. Give generously. 5. Live simply. 6. Forgive quickly. 7. Be kind always.
I failed miserably at achieving these principles. They also did not intrigue me the same way various Japanese ideologies had. Regardless, I adhered to only one of these, and I am proud that at least 1 out of 7 was achieved considering the source. I wished I had been capable of more, but I was not.
Aries, by now I am certain you realize that I am reserved with what I show others, but completely honest with myself. I am fully aware of my limitations. For one, I did not always put God first. This was willful. In fact, at times I questioned God’s existence for several reasons, one being, how could a God we are to serve and trust allow our parents to abuse and hurt us? But towards the end of my life, I realized that I may have been