communication.'
There was a tense little pause.
'Emma, I would have told you personally but you were lying down in your room. I did not wish to disturb you.'
'How do you know I was lying down?' she asked.
'I knocked on your door and when you didn't answer I opened it,' he said. 'You were sound asleep.'
Emma felt a faint shiver pass over her at the thought of him observing her without her knowing. 'You should have woken me up.'
'You looked exhausted, that is why I didn't,' he said. 'I was in a rush, in any case.'
'You could have phoned me once you were on your way in the car or even at the airport,' she said, not quite ready to relinquish her sense of pique. 'Why didn't you?'
He let out an impatient sound. 'Must we have this conversation?' he asked. 'I didn't realise you expected me to clock in and clock out.'
'I'm sure that's what you expect me to do,' she threw back resentfully. 'I bet if I left some vague message with the housekeeper or one of the groundsmen that I was going away for the best part of a week you would have something to say about it.'
'I would indeed,' he said, 'but that is because you are my wife and I will not have my reputation damaged by inappropriate behaviour on your part.'
Emma felt her anger towards him escalate. 'I'm hardly the one in this marriage to act inappropriately, now, am I?'
'What is that supposed to mean?' He bit each word out like small hard pebbles hitting against a glass surface.
'I'm n-not the one with a lover in every city throughout Europe,' she said, struggling to keep her voice steady as her emotions started to bubble over. 'That's you.'
'Emma, you are overwrought,' he said in a gentler tone. 'It is understandable given what happened this morning. That is one of the reasons I came away when I did. I think we both need some space to regroup.'
Emma bit down on her lip to stop herself from crying.
'Emma?' he said. 'Cara, listen to me...please.'
She gave a tell-tale little sniff. 'S-sorry...it's just I don't know what you want from me...'
Rafaele closed his eyes and with his free hand used his finger and thumb to pinch the bridge of his nose until he winced at the pressure.
What did he want from her? Something he had no right to ask of her. She was after security and safety and he was not the one to give it to her. He didn't trust himself. He had never been good at relationships. He got restless and bored within weeks of sleeping with a new partner. It happened every single time. It would not be fair to have an affair with her, only to walk away when the curtain came down on the year required to fulfil the terms of his father's will.
He had misjudged her so badly he couldn't bear to add insult to injury by offering her a convenient affair. She deserved so much better. She deserved to have someone who could love her and protect her, to nurture her and meet all her needs. It would pull her down to have someone like him in her life. He couldn't give her the children she wanted. How could he? What sort of father would he be? He didn't feel comfortable around children. The nightmares never went away. He would wake up in his bed, soaked in sweat, his heart thumping, and his mind filled with images of his brother lying lifeless on the ground.
'Emma...' He took a deep breath and continued, 'It was not my intention to confuse you. But everything is different now. It has to be.'
'But what about what I want?' she asked.
Rafaele's fingers tensed around his phone. 'I cannot give you what you want.'
'How do you know that?'
He blew out another tight breath. 'I just know it. I am not the settling down type. You told me you wanted a proper love-match marriage and children eventually. That is just not going to happen with me.'
'Because you're still punishing yourself,' she said. 'You're robbing yourself of one of the richest experiences in life.'
'My father clearly did not find it so,' he reminded her bitterly.
'Your father was as stubborn and proud as you,' she said. 'But have you ever thought what it was like for him losing your mother so young? He was probably devastated, left with two little boys to rear. One of the guests at the wedding told me he had