funny bone.
“Like what you see, big guy?”
How should he respond? With words? A smirk? He put his hands on her and sized up the situation.
“You’re a lefty.” Fondling her boobs was a good time. So was messing with her.
She jolted on his lap and pushed away to look down. “What do you mean?”
“Well,” he drawled while weighing her boobs with his hands. “The left one sits lower than the right one. And it’s a bit heavier.”
Slapping his hands away, Summer yelped and scrambled off his lap. Standing in front of him, she covered her breasts with her hands. “Nuh-uh!”
Watching as she tested his appraisal by inspecting her breasts was danger-zone hot.
He slid forward on the spa bench, spread his legs, and pulled her hips until she was almost between his thighs. The warm churning water made his cock dance. It was an amazing feeling.
Just to fuck with her, he kept a serious expression and spoke as if he was a tittie technician offering an analysis.
Grasping, he squeezed slightly and then cupped one beautiful globe. “See? This one is bottom-heavy.”
Her outraged squawk made his dancing cock do the tango. Having a blast, he continued by critiquing the other one.
“Now this one,” he told her, “has amazing symmetry. Fits perfectly in my hand.” He fondled, squeezed, tweaked, and massaged while performing the mock examination.
Summer, however, was outraged. She stopped him with a raised hand and stepped back in the water to put some distance between them. He found her reaction amusing. Nudity didn’t seem to bother her, but his snarky appraisal of her boobs touched a nerve.
Arnie assumed she’d call him out for being a pig. He felt his critique performance would end with a custom opportunity to gallantly sweep the golden girl off her innocent feet.
But as he sat straighter and enjoyed the show, she lit into him and made him realize how wrong he was.
Summer on an outraged tear was something to behold—and remember.
“I will have you know that there is not a goddamn thing wonky about my boobs.” Her affronted snort was accompanied by narrowing eyes and a fierce scowl. “And I know this for a fact because I spent two hundred bucks to have them professionally evaluated and measured.”
His eyes widened. What? He started to ask for clarification, but the outraged female he’d been seducing wasn’t having it.
Cupping her bountiful boobage, she spat a reply that more or less answered all his questions.
“They match. Not only that but the line of my nipples is also exactly level. Anyone bigger than an A cup needs professional measuring. I’ve always struggled with bras—either too tight or not enough support—so I used the services of a bra mistress. An expert in matching boobs with the right bra.”
He blinked. “A what? A bra mistress? Are you for real?”
“Yes, it’s for real,” she snarled. “And it’s not bullshit. There are precise measurements and a sophisticated computer program producing a 3D image. Boobs change, considering where a woman is in her cycle, but for the most part, boobs are like feet. You measure your feet before buying shoes, so the same would be true for a bra. Tight shoes hurt. Loose shoes are annoying.”
With a better picture of what the hell she was going on about, he relaxed and tried to grab her hips. She yelped and pushed his hands away.
“No way, blondie.” Her eyes were fiery. “You apologize to the girls.” She slapped her hands at her waist, pulled her shoulders back, and stood before him with a proud expression and her stupendous tits on full display.
Placing a hand over his heart, Arnie snicker-coughed, earned a scowl, and then grew serious.
“My apologies to your, um, girls. They are magnificent, and I’m grateful to you for letting me play with them.”
A smile quivered at the corners of her mouth, but she maintained her posture and proud bearing.
“With you standing straight, I see how wrong I was,” he offered with a bit of amused laughter. Putting his thumbs together and fingers straight like a cameraman finding the perfect shot, he ogled her without shame and grinned. “Forgiven?” he asked.
“Okay.” Summer giggled.
“I just have one question.”
She arched a brow. “And that would be what?”
“This titty expert you speak of. What are the qualifications, and do you know if they’re hiring?”
For a handful of seconds, she gawked at him in confusion and disbelief. Then a wave came straight at his startled face as she sent a deluge of water his way with a sweeping hand movement.
Sputtering from