I reach down and make an adjustment, resisting the urge to jack off when she bites her lip, staring at it. “If you keep that up I’m going to have to take matters into my own hands.”
She pushes up to her knees, my tee falling over her naked body, which only makes me hungry to strip her bare. She crawls to the end of the bed and pulls herself up against me.
Kissing my neck, she smiles. “As much as I’d love to see you take matters into your own hands? I’d rather take matters into mine.”
I suck in a shaky breath as she kisses down my throat to my chest, across my pecs, then lower to—“Axelle, baby…” I hook her chin and bring her face back to eye level. “I want that, you know I do, but on my long list of things I want to do with you, that’s not number one.”
She cocks a head and lifts a brow. “Oh yeah?”
I run her soft hair through my fingers. “Yeah.”
“I believe I heard part of your list earlier.”
I press a kiss to her lips. “Mm-hm.”
“So, what did I miss?” She’s grinning and playful, but her smile falls when I cup her face and look straight into her eyes.
“Let me make love to you.”
Her eyes widen and her lips part. “But you’re a virgin. I mean are you sure you want it to be me?”
Even after everything we’ve done, after all my confessions, my cheeks still heat with embarrassment. “Who do you think I’ve been saving it for?”
Her eyes fill with tears. “But you know I’m not a virgin, and you deserve—”
“It’s always been yours, Axelle. It’s just been hanging around waiting for you to take it. So, will you?”
A brilliant smile pulls her lips and she nods. “Yes, as long as you’re sure.”
“Never been surer of anything my entire life.”
~~~
I wish I could say I went into losing my virginity like a champ. That I Rico-Suaved my way to bed, threw down my v-card with a “Bam!” and dropped the mic.
But as I stand there staring into the beautiful blue eyes of the only girl I’ve ever loved, only one thought powers through my thick skull.
Condoms.
I don’t have any damn condoms.
It’s like finding the Holy Grail then discovering it’s too heavy to carry. Or having someone hand you the formula to cure cancer, but it’s written in a dead language no one can understand. Or discovering you are motherfucking Superman at the same time you’re diagnosed with extreme acrophobia!
Axelle’s lips are on my neck and her hands dip beneath the waistband of my flannel pants.
I grip her wrists. “Whoa…hold on.”
My heart is racing and my blood pumping so furiously I might fucking pass out with excitement.
She pulls back and eyes me with concern. “Why are you stopping me?”
“I don’t have any condoms.” I run a hand through my hair and groan. “I’m sorry. I just never thought this would happen, at least, not so soon, and I’m totally unprepared.”
“No worries.” She shrugs. “I have some.”
Total. Fucking. Boner-kill.
I’m well aware of the men that Axelle has shared a bed with, more aware than I’d like to be, but that doesn’t mean the reminder of those men doesn’t make me want to punch something or someone, specifically one of the motherfuckers who she’s carrying around condoms in her purse for.
She hops off the bed, and I watch her long legs as she moves to her bag. “Should be in here somewhere,” she mumbles. “Ah-ha!” She whirls around and holds up a strip of gold-foiled condoms.
“Great.”
Her grin falls and she looks between me and the big-fat fuck-you she’s holding. “Hey…” She crosses to me and tosses the condoms on the bed before wrapping her arms around my waist. “It’s just us in this room, okay? Please, don’t let my mistakes change the way you feel about me right now. I…” She sighs and holds me tighter. “I have my own regrets. I’ve made so many mistakes. Don’t let someone like Clifford—”
“Please, don’t say his name.”
“—ruin this for us.”
“You’re right.” I rub her back and hold her close. “I’m being a little bitch.”
She giggles and tilts her head back. “You said it, not me.”
I grin, but it’s slight, desire to pick up where we left off dissolving any hint of humor. “You have no idea how long I’ve waited for you.”
“I’m sorry it took me so long.” She pushes up on her tiptoes and kisses me with all the passion of a woman in