“Fuck school, man! It’ll always be there, but you only have this window of opportunity open now.”
“He’s right,” Rex mumbles.
“It’s one year. That’s like a fart in time, my friend. You’ll never miss it. But you will absolutely miss it when you don’t get this kind of offer again and you’re stuck in small-ticket fights that pay piss-all because you missed out on your chance to do something awesome.”
“You’re probably right. I just…needed to think about it.”
“The fact that you even have to think is worrisome.” Wade follows us into the weight room.
“I’ll probably go.”
“Where are we going?” Mason says from his position at the squat rack.
Wade points at me from over his shoulder. “Boy genius here is considering passing up the UK.”
The surfer-looking fighter sets his eyes on mine. “Don’t be stupid, Kill. It’s only a year.”
Only a year.
365 days away from Axelle.
I can do that.
Can’t I?
~*~
Axelle
When I first started hanging out at Clifford’s place, I didn’t know what GTA5 was. After sitting in his living room for more hours than I can count over the last couple months, I’ve learned it’s a video game where men get to pretend they’re bigger and badder than they really are. They get to role-play the things they’d never have the balls to do in real life.
It’s basically a playground for pussies.
“Dude, a hitchhiker.” John, Clifford’s roommate and all around loser friend, points to the screen. “You gonna pick him up?”
“Yep.” Clifford laughs and jimmies his joystick, or controller, whatever they’re called. “Then I’m gonna drive him up to the mountains and feed him to the coyotes.”
Doesn’t say much about society that we now have games that allow him to do just that.
I’m bored and repulsed and need a distraction.
“You guys hungry?” It’s after nine and I haven’t eaten dinner.
When I got here, Clifford dragged me back to his room with his mouth all over mine. He insisted I put my piercing to use. John came home seconds after we finished and roped Clifford into playing video games, leaving me alone and unsatisfied in his bed.
I shook off the whispers of desire I’d felt when he was telling me how beautiful I was, how talented my mouth is, and how much he enjoyed me. I know it’s not love he feels for me, but it’s something, and like a drug, I’m addicted to it. When my mouth is on him, or he’s inside me, I feel wanted. After years of feeling unwanted, I desperately cling to that feeling of being wanted when we’re together.
“I’m starving.” John clicks the remote, his tongue hanging out the side of his mouth in concentration.
“Yeah, why don’t you go grab us some food?” Clifford doesn’t even look at me when he says it, his gaze firmly planted on the big flat-screen.
Better to be useful than to warm this damn chair. I get up and grab my keys. “What do you guys want?”
“Tacos.”
“Pizza.”
They say it simultaneously, and rather than try to decipher which one to grab, I decide hitting two different places means killing more time and hit two drive-thrus instead of one.
Thirty minutes later I push through the front door, balancing a pizza box and a bag of tacos in my hand.
“Food’s here,” Clifford’s voice sounds from the living room followed by two more that are distinctly female.
Girls.
It’s not uncommon for girls to show up here. After all, Clifford doesn’t live here alone, and John’s a decent-looking guy, for a stoner. Knowing that doesn’t keep jealousy from waging war in my chest.
John comes into the kitchen, where I’m pulling out all the tacos and accompanying hot sauces. Clifford is on his heels, trailed by two girls. My stomach turns when I realize it’s the two girls who were talking about him at his party. What the fuck are they doing here? I stand back as they all huddle around the kitchen counter and fish out food for themselves.
John takes a bite of a taco and moans. “God, I love you, Elle.”
Clifford grabs pizza, and even though he doesn’t offer the girls food, he doesn’t stop them from taking slices for themselves.
He bites and nods toward me. “Thanks.”
“You’re welcome.”
“Did you get this from Stubby’s?” The pretty blonde takes a bite.
“No, I got it from—”
“That place is always so crowded on the weekend,” her equally beautiful blond friend says.
“Come on. Watch me kick John’s ass on this next mission.” Clifford snags another piece of pizza and heads back into the living room.