I study him and a tension strings tight between us, as if a million unspoken words hover in the space between our lips. Mesmerized by the depth of his stare, I’m incapable of looking away.
“Yes,” I whisper.
He nods and breaks eye contact. “That’s good, Ax. I’m… I’m happy for you.”
An odd feeling comes over me at those words, because I’m always desperate for his approval, but for the first time, in this case, I don’t want it.
Seven
Killian
“Get in and out! In and out!” Rex’s shouted instructions are called from outside the cage.
I step in, throw a left, pivot out.
“There it is!” He claps. “Again!”
Wade’s eyes are focused on me, gloved hands raised. He blinks to clear the sweat from his vision. I know because I’m doing the same.
I step in. Body shot. Pull back.
Wade lands a kick to my ribs.
“Shit.” I grab his ankle just in time to take him to the ground.
“Nice!” Rex yells. “Half guard!”
I use the weight of my body to wrap my leg around his. He struggles as I secure half guard. He braces my hip, making so I can’t get a tighter hold¸ then thrusts up. His hands get between us.
“No! Lock ’em down!”
We go back and forth, him gaining an inch, me getting it back. We’re breathing heavily and fatigue makes me clumsy. He takes advantage and locks me in a guillotine choke.
“Dammit, Kill!” Rex yells just as I sag and tap.
“Fuck, boy!” Wade jumps off me, grinning. “You’re one strong son of a bitch!”
I roll to my back, trying to catch my breath. “Not strong enough.” I spit out my mouth guard and stare at the ceiling.
Rex’s face comes into view as he leans over me. I expect to see him scowling, but his pierced lip is pulled into a wide grin. “That was some impressive shit, Kill.” He holds out his hand. “Get your ass up.”
I allow him to pull me to my feet where Wade wraps his arm around my neck. “You’re going to destroy the competition in England, bro.” He slaps my back.
Fuck. Not this again.
It’s been three weeks since I got the offer to go to London, and I haven’t told the guys I’m not taking the offer yet. They seem to leave me alone when I say I haven’t decided yet. But I find the surest way to stay clear of their shit is to just keep my mouth shut altogether.
Wade lifts his water bottle to his lips before looking to Rex. “Dude, can you imagine getting your first fight overseas at twenty-one?”
Rex studies me with a knowing expression. “No, I can’t. It’s the opportunity of a fuckin’ lifetime.”
His words set a thirty-pound weight of guilt in my gut. And no way I can tell them the real reason I’m not considering the move. Or rather, why I’m only considering it a little.
After Axelle and Clifford’s little PDA last week, I started to wonder if maybe some space wouldn’t be good for us. I even followed Cam’s instructions and went straight from school that day to apply for a passport, paying extra for expedited service. I’ve heard absence makes the heart grow fonder. If that’s true, maybe a little absence is exactly what Axelle needs. I, on the other hand, can’t stand to get any fonder than I already am. My guess is the next step of infatuation for me comes with a high-powered telescope, her dirty underwear, and a secret entrance to her bedroom.
The Velcro from Wade’s glove being ripped off calls my attention. “When do you guys leave?”
My gaze darts to Rex, who is looking on expectantly.
“Leave for England?” I’m stalling. Not my proudest moment.
“No, leave for Dubai.” Wade tosses his glove at my head. “Yes, England, jackass.”
“Cam’s giving me some time, so I don’t know.”
Wade’s eyes narrow. “Time for what?”
Rex interrupts. “Killer hasn’t decided if he’s gonna take the UK gig yet.”
Wade’s eyes dart to mine, and his jaw falls loose on its hinges. “Are you insane? Of course you’re taking it!”
I shrug and pull off my gloves. “Yeah, I most likely will, but I’m still trying to weigh the ramifications of leaving school for a year.”
“Ramifi—no! There are zero ramifications.” He tilts his head, studying me like I’m a freak of science. “Why wouldn’t you go?”
Because I’m in love with my best friend, and if I leave, she might find the guy of her dreams, and I want to be that guy, so I can’t fucking go!