her then. I wiped the sweat off my face with the bottom of my t-shirt. Now it all made sense. The thoughts came into line easily, like soldiers.
“I didn't like seeing my Mom so helpless,” I said, my jaw set. Serafina's head lifted to meet my gaze, but I kept my eyes on the clock on the far wall. “She looked small and powerless on that hospital bed and I hated it. I love her and want her to choose better for herself. Whenever my family gets together, we fight. We're all too opinionated, so I just shut the hell up and fade into the background, and I hate that too. So, seeing my family makes me tense.”
I stopped to take a deep breath. Serafina hadn't said a word, but I felt her steady gaze. I kept going.
“I hate being away from Ava even for a few days because I don't know her mind, and I hate that too. I love her. I'm afraid something will happen if I'm not here to protect her. And I hated that that creep tried to grope you and I didn't get to break his teeth the way he deserved. That's why I looked like I'd burst.”
She set a hand on my arm despite the damp sweat.
“Thank you for defending me,” she said. “But mostly thank you for dealing with whatever was inside of you.”
Only when I met her gaze did I realize that she might have been frightened of me. Had she sensed something in me that reminded her of Talmage? Did Talmage and I share a sense of rage that she recognized? She'd stopped wincing all the time from her broken rib, so I'd started to forget.
“Were you afraid of me?” I asked quietly.
Her shoulders slumped. “Not really.” Her hair, which she'd let fall down, rustled with the movement of a quick shake. “I know you'd never hurt me, but I was concerned for your own sake. You seemed . . . agitated.”
“I feel better now. Thank you.”
Unable to stop myself, I reached over and touched her chin with my hand. Then I lifted it so I could stare into her eyes.
“You okay?”
She drew in a deep breath at my touch, then nodded. My gaze dropped to her lips, then back to her eyes. She put her hand over mine.
“Can I kiss you now?” I asked.
The words came out of me before I could stop them. Even after I heard them, I didn't want to take them back. Only a brief lull came between us before she leaned into my hand and whispered, “Yes.”
In my imaginings, our first kiss would be hungry. A bit wild. A desperate reflection of the way I felt inside. But when I closed the distance between us, I stopped a breath before her lips. The heat of her breath, light with mint, slammed into me like a wall. I stayed there for a moment to soak in the sensation.
Then I gently pressed my lips to hers.
A low heat burned beneath my lips at first, accompanied by a sense of disbelief that I'd allowed myself to get pulled into her so quickly. Then she tilted her head, opening her mouth to me, and all my control vanished.
I gently grabbed her arms to pull her onto my lap. Her hands found my face and threaded through my hair as I pulled her close, banishing all space between us. She made a sound at the back of her throat, and I stopped. When we parted, she stared at me through passion-clouded eyes.
“You okay?” I whispered, panting.
She put both of her hands on my face, seeming unaware of how sweaty I'd become. Then she pressed her forehead to mine.
“Now I am,” she whispered.
And I lost it again.
18
Serafina
The next day, I stared at my phone with a little frown.
Mom: Have you heard from Talmage? I haven't heard anything at all.
* * *
Serafina: No. He's been ignoring me. Want me to go check on him?
* * *
Mom: Would Ben go with you?
* * *
Serafina: Probably.
* * *
Mom: Then if it's not too much trouble, it would help me feel better.
* * *
Serafina: I'll ask tonight.
When I shoved it back in my pocket, the bells on the Diner door jangled. I stepped back into work with a smile, but it felt forced. I didn't want to be here right now. Normally, I loved waitressing. Today, I just wanted to be back in my loft and under my covers where I could analyze my first