will it be for us, sneaking around behind Damon’s back? It was all fun and games in the beginning, but I can’t do that to him, not again.”
It’s not what I want for myself either.
“I’ll go talk to him right now. He’ll know everything by the time you get here,” he vows, and my heart plummets. He’s not listening. He was never this determined to go public with our relationship before.
“Don’t do that. There’s nothing to know.”
“There could be.”
“Yeah, three years ago, maybe. Now? Not so much. You’ll just start trouble over nothing.”
He goes silent, having nothing else to say.
“I’ll talk to you soon, Fred.”
I hang up, wanting to throw the phone across the room. Freddie had his chance, and he blew it. Why do I have to go running to him because he’s decided he wants all of me? If I could go back to the beginning and change the path I chose to take, I would.
3
Freddie
The Past
Damon promised his sister a party to end all parties, and he’s delivered. He promised her rock stars, alcohol, drugs, and vowed he would behave himself if she took a liking to a guy. He paid out for professional dancers, DJs, fireworks, and enough pink roses to fill a shopping mall— her favourites.
All for his baby sister for her twenty-first birthday.
Yesterday, they wined and dined with the family, and tonight she’s partied hard, leaving my house filled with candy floss and people I could care less about.
Grabbing a bottle of tequila from behind one of the bars, I opt out of celebrating. The fireworks show will start around midnight, and I’d prefer to watch them from my balcony, alone. I’ve always enjoyed a good fireworks’ show. They were my favourite part of July fourth weekends growing up.
The second floor is quiet, and shrouded in darkness. I pass Damon’s room, then Baz’s, and come to mine at the end of the hall, directly across from River’s, and throw open my door to find a dark figure sitting on the floor, leaning against the end of my bed.
“For fuck’s sake. My room was meant to be off-limits,” I grunt.
“That’s why I’m here.”
“Jamiee?” I ask, turning the light on.
She winces at the brightness, so I turn it off and cross the room to switch on the lamp. Backtracking, I kneel before the birthday girl.
“You don’t look so good, baby Coleman. I thought you said you could party?” I laugh, mocking her. She was partying long before she was legally able to. Her tolerance should be higher than this.
“I’m okay. I just wanted to get away from everyone. I didn’t want to go into Damon’s room in case he brought someone up.”
Cocking a brow, I chuckle. “And how did you know I wouldn’t bring anyone up?”
“I didn’t think you’d be up before now, to be honest. And, you never bring girls into your room. You always take them somewhere else,” she replies with confidence.
Narrowing my eyes, I try to work out how she knows this. It’s obvious she’s been watching me closely, because
she’s right. I don’t bring girls back to my room. Our lives are open to everyone around the world, but my room is the one place that’s mine, and it’s private. When I eventually get around to buying my own place, I’m going to live alone in the middle of nowhere.
When she rolls her head against the footboard to look me in the eyes, I see she isn’t wasted. Instead, she looks sad about something.
Rocking back on my ass, I twist the cap off the bottle of tequila I brought up with me.
“Talk to me, why are you hiding out up here?” Now I’m more comfortable, I see she’s tired and it’s not physical. There’s a storm brewing behind her eyes and I want to know what set it off.
“Have you ever stood in a crowded room and felt like you were completely alone? Like, you could scream until your lungs burn and no one would notice?”
I take a swig from the bottle and pass it over to her, surprised when she shakes her head no.
“I usually get wasted and forget everyone’s around me,” I admit.
You’re friends with anyone and everyone when you’re off your face. You simply don’t think or care.
Like now, I need another drink. I’ve known this girl for years, so long so, I don’t remember a time where she wasn’t around somewhere in my life. She’s always been Damon’s baby sister, and I’m pretty sure this will be our first