explore my sensuality, my limits - safely - oh please! I scoff angrily. Serve and obey in all things. All Things! I shake my head in disbelief. Actually, doesn't the marriage ceremony use those words... obey This throws me. Do couples still say thatOnly three months, is that why there have been so manyHe doesn't keep them for longOr have they had enough after three monthsEvery weekend That's too much. I'll never see Kate or whatever friends I may make at my new job - provided I get one. Perhaps I should have one weekend a month to myself. Perhaps when I have my period, that sounds... practical.
He's my master! To be dealt with as he pleases! Holy shit.
I shudder at the thought of being flogged or whipped. Spanking probably wouldn't be so bad, humiliating though. And tied upWell he did tie my hands together. That was...
well it was hot, really hot, so perhaps that won't be so bad. He won't loan me to another Dominant - damn right he won't. That would be totally unacceptable. Why am I even thinking about this?
I can't look him in the eye. How weird is that The only way I ever have any chance to see what he's thinking. Actually, whom am I kidding, I never know what he's thinking, but I like looking into his eyes. He has beautiful eyes - captivating, intelligent, deep and dark, dark with dominant secrets. I recall his burning smoky gaze and press my thighs together, squirming.
And I can't touch him. Well, no surprise there. And these silly rules... No, no I can't do this. I put my head in my hands. This is no way to have a relationship. I need some sleep. I'm shattered. All the physical shenanigans I've been engaged in over the last twenty-four hours have been, frankly, exhausting. And mentally... oh man, this is so much to take on board. As Jose would say, a real mind-fuck. Perhaps in the morning, this might not read like a bad joke.
I scramble up and change quickly. Perhaps I should borrow Kate's pink flannel pajamas. I want something cuddly and reassuring around me. I head to the bathroom in my t-shirt and sleep shorts and brush my teeth.
I stare at myself in the bathroom mirror. You can't seriously be considering this...
My subconscious sounds sane and rational, not her usual snarky self. My inner goddess is jumping up and down, clapping her hands like a five-year-old. Please, let's do this...
otherwise we'll end up alone with lots of cats and your classic novels to keep you company.
The only man I've ever been attracted to, and he comes with a bloody contract, a flogger, and a whole world of issues. Well, at least I got my way this weekend. My inner goddess stops jumping and smiles serenely. Oh yes... she mouths, nodding at me smugly.
I flush at the memory of his hands and his mouth on me, his body inside mine. Closing my eyes, I feel the familiar delicious pull of my muscles from deep, deep down. I want to do that again and again. Maybe if I just sign up for the sex... would he go with thatI suspect not.
Am I submissiveMaybe I come across that way. Maybe I misled him in the interview. I'm shy, yes... but submissiveI let Kate bully me - is that the sameAnd those soft limits, jeez. My mind boggles, but I'm reassured that they are up for discussion.
I wander back to my bedroom. This is too much to think about. I need a clear head - a fresh morning approach to the problem. I put the offending documents back in my satchel.
Tomorrow... tomorrow is another day. Clambering into bed, I switch off the light and lie staring up at the ceiling. Oh, I wish I'd never met him. My inner goddess shakes her head at me. She and I know it's a lie. I have never felt as alive as I do now.
I close my eyes, and I drift into a heavy sleep with occasional dreams of four-poster beds and shackles and intense gray eyes.
Kate wakes me the next day.
"Ana, I've been calling you. You must have been out cold."
My eyes reluctantly open. She's not just up - she's been for a run. I glance at my alarm. It's eight in the morning. Holy Moses, I've slept for a solid nine hours.
"What is it?" I mumble sleepily.
"There's a man here with a delivery for you. You have to sign for it."
"What?"
"Come