I asked Ariana to thank him for his hospitality and to inform him that I looked forward to seeing them both at the annual Autumn Ball Haydyn held at the palace.
“I cannot wait to meet again, Lady Rogan.” Ariana hugged me. “It’s been such a pleasure. I do wish you could stay longer.”
I thought of the pack being tied to Midnight as we spoke. The pack with the Somna plant. Haydyn was waiting. We were so close now. I smiled. “We will see each other soon.”
Catching sight of Wolfe out of the corner of my eye as he mounted his horse, I flushed. Tingles cascaded down my spine and my heart raced like a galloping horse. I needed to tell him. Mind you, I narrowed my eyes in thought, it wasn’t as if he’d actually asked me to marry him. He’d just told me.
With another farewell to Ariana, I lifted my skirts and strode over to Wolfe. I touched his leg, and he glanced down, his mouth widening into the warmest smile he’d ever bestowed on me. I was struck dumb for a moment.
“Lady Rogan?”
For once I didn’t argue with the title. “Wolfe,” I responded in a low voice, glancing around to make sure no one was close enough to overhear. I raised an indignant eyebrow. “Marriage?”
He exhaled heavily, sensing my tone. Wolfe dismounted and towered over me, standing far closer than propriety allowed. “We made love, Rogan,” he hissed in my ear. “I took your virginity. We have to marry.”
Have to marry?
I flinched. “No.” I crossed my arms over my chest and glared. All the reasons I had for not marrying him disappearing. All I cared about in that moment was that he hadn’t asked me, and he bloody well was acting like marrying me was a duty, not a desire!
Wolfe drew a hand through his hair, looking exasperated. “Rogan, don’t do this.” He glanced around, catching Chaeron’s eye, who quickly looked away, whistling under his breath as if he hadn’t been trying to eavesdrop. “We’ll discuss this later.”
I harrumphed. “There’s nothing to discuss. I’m not marrying you.”
And like the society girl I tried to tell myself I was nothing like, I flounced away in a dramatic air of petulance and mounted Midnight without looking at Wolfe again.
Despite my fury, I kept picturing that smile he’d given me when I’d approached him on his horse. That smile made me want to throw all my reasons against marriage out the window.
I was such a befuddled mess.
Without Haydyn, I had no one to confide in, and it seemed I was incapable of processing my emotions, sorting out the truths from the excuses. I smiled wearily at the lieutenant as we set off through Raphizya.
Once we administered the cure to Haydyn, I could think about my feelings for Wolfe. Talk them over with her. Decide what the best course of action would be.
I just needed time.
Wolfe was not a mind reader. He didn’t know my reason for rejecting him; he just knew I had.
He clipped orders at me like I was one of his men and snapped at me when I dared to wander away from the Guard when we took our lunch break. I was exhausted by the tension between us, and my chest ached every time I saw that damnable hurt in the back of his eyes.
When we crossed the border into Sabithia and began traveling through Lumberland, pain squeezed my temples from all the overthinking. Despite my resolve to put aside my worries over Wolfe until we returned to Silvera, all the questions kept whirling around in my head. Moreover, I was anxious to return to Haydyn.
My head was throbbing by the time we came upon the village of Woodmill again. Wolfe sidled his horse next to Midnight.
“Lieutenant Chaeron, perhaps you can speak with Mr. Dena regarding accommodation for Lady Rogan.”
Chaeron grinned at Wolfe’s pointed dismissal and trotted off ahead of the Guard, dismounting as Jac Dena came out of his factory to greet him.
“Rogan,” Wolfe said so softly, so gently, I had to turn to him.
Expecting to see pain and panic in his eyes, I was surprised to see angry determination. I knew that look. It was the look he wore when he wanted something and refused to back down until he got it.
“What?” I asked warily.
“Not marrying me … that means some time in the future, you’ll marry someone else. I will marry someone else.”
Jealousy scored a vicious talon across my heart. I lowered my eyes. “I