and glanced down in surprise. The heir to Hell had lifted his tiny middle finger and aimed it right at me. It was so impressive, I almost cried again. Containing my delight that I’d been the very first person to be flipped off by my child was difficult. However, I got the message loud and clear. If my baby wanted the odiferous fare at the soiree, then he would have it. I could deny him nothing.
“I was hoping we had more beans-n-franks,” I lied through my teeth. “It’s my favorite, and I’d be honored to serve it to my guests.”
Mammy giggled and blushed. “Roger that. I’ll get to thawin’ ‘em out and then take a little nap before the party. Elle ya did real good and that there baby is perfect.”
“I couldn’t have done it without you,” Elle said. “I am forever in your debt.”
“Does the boy have a name?” Mammy asked as she slowly made her way to the door of the suite. Mother Nature and Sadie flanked the old Dragon and gently helped her to the exit.
Elle glanced over at me. We both grinned.
“He does,” Elle said. “We will announce our son’s name at the celebration tonight.”
The plan was perfect. The morning had been perfect. I just hoped the evening ahead would be the same.
Chapter Fourteen
The soiree was to die for. Astrid had outdone herself. The Grand Ballroom of the Dark Palace had never been more festive or exquisite. Everything was done up in sparkling black, and the murmurs from the crowd were appropriately impressive. Ravens sat atop priceless nude statues and glared menacingly at the crowd. The party favors were black diamonds shaped like a baby bottle in honor of the Heir to Hell. No expense had been spared. It was truly macabre and outstanding. Not a dust bunny in sight. Astrid was now on the Favor from the Devil list. I didn’t mind a bit. It would take a tremendous amount to sour my mood at the moment. Life was indeed going well.
Elle had recovered within the hour after our son’s arrival just as her mother had predicted. I actually missed my lover’s rounded body, but she was perfect in any form. Her breasts were still wonderfully large due to the fact she was nursing our son—something I was grateful I was incapable of, mammary glands or no. My mother, unable to stop herself, gleefully inquired at least ten times if I’d like to give Elle a break and nurse the baby. If my son hadn’t been present, I would have singed all the hair from my mother’s head and rammed her stripper pole where the sun didn’t shine. But I realized if I wanted my son to show his mother respect, I would have to show respect to my own mother… even when it wasn’t deserved. Of course, all bets were off when my boy wasn’t within listening range.
The pile of stolen gifts was appropriately impressive, and everyone was dressed to the nines. April 1st aka Satan’s Womb Eviction Day was far better than Christmas. The human world had been informed via every illegitimate rag magazine and every reputable news outlet I owned that scientists had uncovered the true birthdate of the Fallen Angel, Lucifer aka Satan, Beelzebub, The Dark Angel and to a very few… Uncle Fucker.
Of course, many wondered if it was a joke since the date conflicted with April Fool’s Day. This was not an issue for me. No press was bad press, and I was receiving tons of both. Love me. Hate me. Never forget me.
Steve Perry and Dr. Ruth were present and holding court. It was frustrating that I’d yet to get within a hundred feet of my idol, but the evening was young. The most talented singer in the Universe had consumed four large bowls of beans-n-franks. It blew my mind. The smell alone was enough to make me gag, but I seemed to be the lone Immortal of that opinion. Everyone was partaking in the runny looking dreck and going back for seconds. I owed Mammy yet another favor. I’d suggested promoting Mammy and making her Admiral in the Demon Army to Lizard. He’d agreed whole heartedly.
“Mammy is batshit crazy, but she’s earned the respect of all the Demons in Hell,” Lizard commented as he partook in a bowl of beans-n-franks… while still chewing his gum. “She’s got a waiting list of Demons wanting a trim.”