demand irritably as we walk through the mall toward the doors leading outside. “We must get to Stella’s home within the hour.” Yes, I finally figured out how to tell time using their clocks. It makes sense that they abandoned the sundial since the peasants spend so little time outdoors.
“Some help would be nice,” Neli says from under a pile of bags hanging from her shoulders, wrists, and gathered against her chest.
“Yes, well, help cannot be found at the moment. I have not had time to procure another servant since I have just woken from a five-hundred-year nap.” Could I be more sarcastic? I chuckle to myself. Chandler has taught me well.
Neli does not laugh. I could order her to, but I am suddenly halted by the most wondrous sight. There, across the indoor courtyard, a shop with a large portrait of a man and woman embracing. They are about to kiss.
A moment later, I peer into the shop and find jewels displayed on black velvet. It is perfect. A gift for Stella.
I stride forward confidently with my American card and stop in front of an elderly crone wearing a gray dress. “Hello, I am Mr. Bozhidar. I would like your finest jewelry as a gift for my virgin date.”
“First date,” Neli chimes in from behind me.
The crone indicates a chair in the corner. “Miss, why don’t you have a seat and set your bags down?”
“Thank you,” Neli says and shuffles to the corner.
“Perhaps you would like a simple silver bracelet?” the crone asks.
I suppress a shudder. Silver and I do not get along. “I prefer gold.”
She points to a gold chain with a heart fastened on one end. “A sweetheart necklace could be good for a first date. Would you like to see it?”
I incline my head, and she pulls a key out from a drawer, unlocking the jewelry case. She removes the heart and opens it. “You can put a picture in there.”
It is very nice, but I do not have time to sit for a portrait. “Perhaps another piece with jewels might be better.”
“Wait, hold up,” Neli says, rising from her chair. “Can you give us a moment?” she says to the crone.
“Of course,” the crone says, stepping to the far side of the counter.
“What is it now?” I demand. “First you insist I wear these trousers that look worn by many others, and then you insist on underclothes, which confine my very large—”
“Boz, please! We need to get going. You’re eager to see Stella, right?”
“Of course. But I must bring her a gift.”
“Okay, but you can’t bring her jewels on a first, uh, meeting.”
“Date,” I correct.
“Collaborative time together.”
I suppress a sinister smile. Soon, Stella, soon.
“Just go with something simple,” Neli says. “You know what modern girls like? These charm bracelets.” She indicates a display case. “You can go with the gold, and later she’ll enjoy adding charms to it.”
I can hypnotize Stella, so I do not see the need for charms, but I will defer to Neli’s knowledge of modern women. “Yes, I will go with this charmed bracelet.”
I snap my fingers at the crone. “A gold bracelet and all your best charms.”
Our time at the mall ends soon after that, and I am pleased with my purchases. After we are both seated in the Beemer, I begin to wonder if the bracelet will truly be enough. “Are you certain Stella would not want a pygmy finger monkey? Or a stable of albino horses?” I want her to know how beautiful she is, and what better way to show it than buying her exotic animals from faraway lands? Something to show off to her friends and make them envious.
Neli stifles a smile. “Yes, I’m sure. The gift you got her will definitely be enough.”
I relax, removing my odd hat and black glasses. And now to seduce—no, I need to use modern lingo—to collaborate with my date for eternity.
CHAPTER ELEVEN
Stella
I’ve been weirdly anxious today, watching the clock in anticipation of Neli and Mr. Bozhidar’s arrival tonight. Despite him being rude before, the thought of seeing him now sets off butterflies in my stomach.
What’s up with that? Must be because I’m so excited about their willingness to collaborate with us. A jointly produced wine! With the Castle Sangria Winery! How exciting! And doesn’t Castle Sangria sound like a party place already? Neli called to float the idea of a wine blend this morning, and I jumped on it, inviting them over to discuss the details. Nights work better