False Start - Jessica Ruddick Page 0,89
in the truck, Jake secured his phone in the holder on the dash.
“Do you need the address?” I asked him.
“No, I got it. And before I forget, give me Becca’s number.”
“What? Why?”
Jake finished typing in the address and hit Go on the GPS. “Because you’re not going to be in any shape to text her when you come out of surgery, and if she’s anything like Rachel, she’ll want to know the second you’re out. I’m surprised she isn’t taking you.”
Scowling, I stared out the window as Jake backed out of the parking space. “She’s got more important things to do,” I muttered.
Jake let out a low whistle. “Ouch. That’s harsh.”
It took me a second to realize he thought I was repeating her words. I should’ve let it go, but I didn’t want him to think she was an asshole. “She wanted to come, but I told her not to.”
“So instead, you drag my ass out of bed? Nice.” Jake glanced over at me. “And why the hell would you tell her that anyway? She sure as hell would be a better nurse than I am.”
“She’s better off not having to do that.” The words were out of my mouth before I could stop them. Damn it. The early hour and lack of caffeine were getting to me. I didn’t expect Jake to understand. He was a goddamn saint who’d taken legal guardianship over his three younger siblings. I was sure that balanced out any asshole tendencies he might have. I couldn’t say I had a similar thing going for me.
Jake blew out a breath. “What’s going on, man?”
“Nothing.”
“Did Becca do something to piss you off?”
“No.”
A few seconds passed. “Okay, so then are you the one being the asshole?”
It was exactly the opposite. I was thinking of her. I was always thinking of her, which was how I’d gotten her into this mess. I’d known I wasn’t worthy of her, but I’d been selfish. It wasn’t fair to her to keep her trapped with someone like me. While no one would ever be good enough for her, there were a hell of a lot of guys who would be better for her. We never should have ventured out of the friend zone because now I didn’t know if we would be able to go back. I would lose all of her.
Feeling sorry for myself, I leaned my forehead against the window. The Zizzos had been such an important part of my life ever since Roman and I ended up on the same kickball team at recess in grade school. I couldn’t imagine my life without them, but I guessed I would soon be living that reality. And I had no one to blame but myself.
Jake sighed heavily. “I take your silence to mean you are the one being the asshole.”
“Leave it alone, Jake. You don’t know what you’re talking about.”
“Yeah, because you won’t tell me what’s going on.”
I stayed silent. Jake should know me well enough to know I wasn’t going to cry on his shoulder or some shit. But he just couldn’t seem to drop it.
He looked over at me. “You were one of the only people who didn’t give up on me when my parents died. I’ll always owe you for that, and I hope to God you’ll never be in a situation like that. But looking at you now, it seems like you’re fucking up, and you’re doing stupid shit you’re going to regret. So as a friend, I’m trying to point it out to you.”
Even though anger formed in the pit of my stomach, I knew he meant well. The trouble was he had my best interests at heart instead of Becca’s. “I’ll keep it in mind.” I scrubbed my left hand over my face. It was funny how quickly I’d adapted to not using my right arm. “God, this fucking sucks. The timing couldn’t be worse.”
“Sure, it could,” Jake said easily. “It could have happened in August.” When he noticed my scowl, he laughed. “Rachel’s positivity is rubbing off on me.”
“Well, you keep that shit to yourself.”
He shrugged. “It’s not so bad. It’s kind of nice, actually. Now if I was in your shoes, I wouldn’t be so positive.”
“Hypocrite,” I muttered.
“You had a good season last year. And the first part of this season was great too. I only have the first part of this season to rely on for the draft. Don’t worry, man. You’re still good.”
I sure as hell hoped so because I