False Start - Jessica Ruddick Page 0,88
I wasn’t worrying about nothing because Evan was right. Despite my hysterical response when Carson first got injured, I wasn’t prone to overreacting.
Though it sounded dramatic, I couldn’t help but think that when Carson broke his arm, something inside him broke too.
CHAPTER 22
Becca
I WENT STRAIGHT to Carson’s house after my last class. Though he had texted me eventually, his text consisted of only two words: Surgery tomorrow. At least the doctors weren’t prolonging it. The sooner he could get on the road to recovery, the sooner he could get back to feeling like himself.
When I let myself into his townhouse, he was lying on the couch on his back, staring at the ceiling and looking miserable. My heart clenched when I saw him. I propped myself on the edge of the couch, next to him. “Hey.”
His dull eyes shifted to me. “Hey.”
“So, surgery tomorrow?” I tried to sound upbeat, like surgery was a good thing. Considering the circumstances, it was. This was just a bump in the road that he needed to get past. “I assume it’s in Roanoke.” At his nod, I continued. “What time?”
“Nine.”
I grimaced. “That’s early, but better to get it over with, right? We’ll have to leave by seven.”
His gaze shifted back to the ceiling. “I asked Jake to drive me.”
“But…” I was at a loss for words. It had never occurred to me that he would ask someone else to take him to the surgery. I searched his face, trying to read him, but he was expressionless. “I can take you. Jake doesn’t need to miss class.”
“Neither do you.”
Again, I peered at his face, trying to find answers, but his expression gave nothing away. Neither did his monotone. Both were massive warning signs—Carson was usually animated and full of life.
“I’m all caught up. It’s fine.” I didn’t bother to point out that I would be so consumed with worry, I wouldn’t be able to pay attention in class anyway.
“I don’t want you there.”
His blunt words were a blow to my heart. A month ago, I would have bet my life on me being the only person he would want with him at a time like that. What had changed? Our relationship. That shouldn’t matter, though. If anything, that should make him lean on me more. But instead, he was pushing me away.
I wanted to demand an explanation, but I reminded myself that this wasn’t about me. Even though it hurt that he hadn’t turned to me in his time of need, my feelings weren’t important as long as he got the help he needed. At least that was what I tried to tell myself. It was hard to believe that statement when he was tearing my heart to shreds.
“Okay.” I tried to keep my tone light. “If that’s what you want, but let me know if you change your mind.”
“I won’t.”
I flinched then tried to play it off by running my hands through my hair. He wasn’t thinking straight, but when he recovered and thought back on this, he would feel bad about how he’d acted. Everyone handled stressful situations differently, so I wasn’t going to give him shit about it while he was still in the middle of it.
“Do you want me to stay over tonight?” In the last month, I hadn’t had to ask that question because the answer was always yes. But now I didn’t know what was going through his mind. I barely recognized him.
“No.”
I looked down at my lap and picked at my fingernails, trying to keep the tears out of my eyes. “Okay.” I leaned down to press a kiss to his lips, and his mouth met mine with a desperate hunger for a brief moment before he turned away.
Not knowing what to make of it, I stood. “Rest up. I’ll see you tomorrow.”
He didn’t say anything, so I let myself out.
***
Carson
JAKE KNOCKED ON my door at a quarter to seven the next morning. He looked like hell, like the only thing keeping his eyelids peeled open was the coffee he had clutched in his hand. I hadn’t eaten or drunk anything since midnight, and at this ungodly hour, the rich smell of the caffeinated beverage made me nearly delirious.
“Are you ready?”
Shoving my keys in my pocket, I stepped out onto the porch and closed the door behind me. “Yeah.”
The outpatient surgery center was about an hour away. The traffic on I-81 was always unpredictable, so considering it was rush hour, we wanted to give ourselves plenty of time.
Once