"You don't know what you want, so maybe I won't see you anymore."
"As you like." I was watching the shadows. It seemed to me that there were too many of them, more than other evenings. The lights of the Cine Fantastico sign scarcely penetrated the gloom. A beggar woman in the square called out to me and I jumped, startled. When I gave her a coin, my hand was shaking. I did not know why I was afraid. Nothing had happened. The woman had not threatened me. No reason.
Marcos followed me into the lobby of the hotel and up the stairs to my room. The shadows were darker here, gathering in the corners like dust. The hallway was stuffy, and the shadows crept like rats along the baseboards.
The room was dark. Barbara was not back yet. I unlocked the door but did not step inside, reluctant to venture into the shadows.
"You see," he said, "Barbara is not home yet. She is having a good time at Tixkokob. We can have a good time too." He put his hands on my shoulders and pulled me close to him. I saw the shadows moving and I let him hold me and kiss me on the neck. I wanted protection; I wanted comfort.
Through his jeans and my thin dress, I could feel his cock pressing against me. "Marcos," I said, "wait."
His hand pressed against my ass, rubbing me against him. "You want it," he said. "We'll have a good time." He half lifted me through the open door and pushed it closed behind him with one foot. The shadows were all around us and I clung to him for protection.
"Wait," I said. "Barbara will be back."
"No," he said. "Not yet. Don't be afraid. It'll be all right."
His hand left my back and undid the top buttons of my dress. He fumbled inside, pushing aside the top of my bikini and cupping my breast, rubbing his thumb over the nipple until it hardened under the pressure. My breath came faster and the shadows seemed far away.
"Yes, I like you very much," he said, bringing one hand under me and pushing me down on the bed, taking my breast into his mouth and sucking gently, then harder. I moved against him. I felt warm and the shadows were very far away. He teased the nipple with his teeth. He ran his other hand up my thigh and under my dress, reaching inside my bikini. He had unbuttoned my dress to the waist and pushed my bikini top up around my neck. Both nipples were erect, and he pinched them between his fingers. The fingers of his other hand were inside me, urgently rubbing, stroking.
He lifted the bikini top over my head and pulled the dress down over my shoulders, dragging it under me and stripping away my bikini. The bed creaked when he stood and turned on the ceiling fan. He left his clothing in a heap on the floor and lay on top of me. My hips rose to meet him when he cupped my breasts and thrust deep inside me. The rattle of the ceiling fan drowned out the squeaking of the bed and the sound of my breath coming faster and faster.
I woke up when Barbara came back. The ceiling fan still turned. "Hey," she said softly. "It's time to go back."
I lay still for a moment, pretending that I was still asleep and thinking about the Caribbean coast, the place my mother wanted me to go. Pure white beaches where there were no shadows. Then I sat up and shook my head. "How was the village well?"
She shook her head and flicked on the light switch. "The village well is tucked away in a secluded limestone cave. No laughing children. No village women. I had to throw Emilio in to cool him down." She turned her head and I saw two bright red hickeys on her neck. "But not until after he had made his mark."
"You decided you weren't going to sleep with him?"
"I actually think he likes it better this way," she said. "It's a power game, and sleeping with him would end the game. I think."
"We'll find out." I stretched beneath the covers. "I slept with Marcos, so the game may be over." The shadows in the room were just ordinary shadows, nothing more.
"Yeah?" Barbara perched on the edge of the bed. "So how was it?"
I frowned. My memories were a jumble of shadows and urgency. "A bit quick