her fingers pressed against his palm, her thumb stroking the mottled skin on the back. “Grandma said you were burned because you reached into the flames and pulled me out.”
“Don’t look at me like I’m some hero. As I always told Nancy, it’s not heroic if you save someone from a disaster you were responsible for. And, no, I didn’t cause the crash, but I invited you to ride with me. That makes me responsible.”
Night had now leached the color from the sky, leaving a dark-blue tint with gray clouds. It was the perfect backdrop for the pain and guilt in his eyes. She lifted his hand to her mouth, kissing the bumpy texture she knew all too well.
“Mia,” he said, his voice even rawer now.
She kept her eyes on him as she kissed over his knuckles, down his pointer finger. His breathing grew deeper, labored. “Forgive yourself, Raleigh. Please. You were a kid. And we were high on each other, on going fast in more ways than one.” She turned his hand over and kissed his palm, breathing in the faint scent of paint and soap, feeling those familiar calluses against her lips. A man who worked hard for a living. For others.
“I don’t know if I—”
“You can, Raleigh. If you can’t do it for yourself, do it for me. I can’t stand the thought of you thrashing yourself with this all your life.” She stepped forward, wrapping her arms around him and laying her cheek against his chest.
A tremor passed through his body as his hands came up to envelop her in his strong, safe hold. Being in his embrace had always felt so good. Safe and warm and right. She could hear his heart pounding near her ear. His hand came up to the back of her head. Her clip fell to the deck with a clatter, leaving his fingers free to slide through her hair. They had stood like this many times over the summer, a sweet embrace just for the sake of holding each other.
You make me feel good about myself, he’d whispered during one of those times. Like I’m worthwhile. She’d savored the words, sure that they weren’t what guys normally said in those kinds of moments.
“Can you try?” she whispered, her hands flattening on his back, stroking up and down the muscles she could feel moving beneath the skin. “For me?”
His mouth came down on the top of her head, a soft kiss. “I’ll try.”
It was something. She closed her eyes and sank into this moment. There might not be any others like it. Ever. The thought caused a sharp pain to lodge in her chest. So she held on, not wanting to move or say anything that might make him back up.
He was stroking her scalp, a heavenly feeling in itself. She thought maybe his cheek was resting on top of her head. Safe. Good. Right. The words rolled through her head like a chant.
With a ragged breath, he leaned forward, and when she thought he might kiss her he pressed his mouth to her forehead. “I’d better go.” Before…She could hear that so clearly in her mind. Before we go too far.
He wasn’t that reckless boy anymore. She saw the battle for control on his face, the wisdom he’d gained from a hard life and choices he regretted. She knew, though, that if she leaned up and kissed him he would kiss her back. As much as she wanted to break his control, she honored his struggle. And her own. This was what they both needed, as he’d reminded her. Closure, forgiveness. Going farther would only be painful. This road terminated, like that piece of abandoned highway where they’d raced. The asphalt broken away, a large reflective sign warning drivers to stop.
She forced herself to nod and take another step back. “See you in the morning, then?”
“How early is too early?”
“Seven-thirty works.” She usually woke at five and couldn’t get back to sleep. She’d start thinking about Raleigh, her mind spinning off into a thousand directions until she gave up and got out of bed. “You still like eggs and bacon?”
He smiled. “You remembered.”
Sometimes on the weekends they’d meet at the local diner for breakfast. She’d been amazed at how much he could eat. “I remember everything about you, Raleigh.”
He made a sound deep in his throat, stepping around her and heading into the house. He swiped his keys from the counter and walked to the front door. But he paused