just fine.
I even sent myself a text message.
That’s how desperate I was to hear from Gia.
She was beyond mad at me.
She had every reason to be mad at me.
And if she knew all the truth, it would be even worse.
“Are you taking a picture of the sky or what?”
My mother came outside just to make things worse.
“No,” I said. “I’m going for a walk.”
“Wait a second,” she said.
“What?”
“Did you hear from your father lately?”
I turned. “Yeah. Why?”
“Okay. Good. Just making sure he remembers he has a daughter.”
“You’re one to talk, right?” I asked.
“Oh, that’s a good one,” she said. “Can’t you see it, Winter? He just buys love. Why do you think I left?”
“Are you kidding me right now?” I asked. “You want to bring that up right now? Like this?”
“What? We’re just talking. I thought you were mature enough. I mean, you are acting like me right now, aren’t you?”
I curled my lip. “I guess so.”
“I’m not justifying anything, Winter. I’m just hoping you can see the bigger picture of it all. That’s all.”
“And what’s that picture look like?” I asked.
“Think about it,” my mother said. “Hey, he’s a great guy. I’ll never not say that. He was by your side when you were in the hospital. He waited for you to wake up. But when you did…”
“Don’t,” I said.
“He left,” she said. “That’s what he does. The work is never ending. The thrill can never be satisfied. You’re not going to want to hear this, Winter, but how do you think it made me feel? I couldn’t pleasure him enough to keep him around. I thought something was wrong with me.”
For a second I thought my mother was going to cry.
Which would have been interesting to see.
But my mother didn’t cry.
I almost forget it required a heart to feel emotion and cry.
“Why are you telling me this?” I asked.
“Because of all you’re going through,” my mother said. “You’re faking losing your memory. Think about it for a second. You get to rewrite everything about your life. You have a long life ahead of you, Winter. You don’t need to be contained.”
“If you want me to leave here, just say it,” I said. “You don’t need to have some big, pretend-to-be-a-mother speech…”
My mother exhaled a breath and nodded. “Wow. That’s what you think?”
“What else would I think?” I asked.
“Okay,” she said. “Good talk.”
My mother turned and went back into the house.
Her words all but crushed me.
She was suggesting that my father wasn’t as good as I thought and that she wasn’t as bad as I thought.
Sure, why not, just flip my world over one more time?
I shook my head and looked at the beach again.
That’s when I saw Gia out on a run.
“Gia!” I screamed.
She ignored me.
I thought maybe she had earbuds in and music playing, but she didn’t.
I jumped from the deck steps to the beach.
That girl could move fast.
And I had already learned my lesson once when I tried to chase her down.
“Gia!” I called out again.
She didn’t even look back for a second.
She just kept going.
Slowly, I plopped down to the sand and brought my knees to my chest.
Before I could get one thought in my head, my phone went off with a text message.
I wanted it to be Gia even though I knew it couldn’t have been.
I looked at the screen and shut my eyes.
It was Talon.
He wanted to meet up tonight.
He wanted more money.
He had plans for me and him.
Chapter 25
no more secrets
Talon got into the passenger seat of Tank Two and put his hand out.
“Not even a quick hello?” I asked.
Talon rubbed his fingers together, looking for money.
I opened the middle console and took out the money and slapped it to his hand.
He closed a fist over the cash and grinned.
“Hey, darling,” he said.
“Yeah. Hey.”
I was on some dirty, Troc-like back road.
That’s where Talon told me to pick him up.
“What’s the plan tonight?” I asked.
“We’ll give Xavier a quick visit,” he said.
“Together?”
“You wanted in on this, right?”
I shook my head. “I don’t know what I want anymore.”
Talon tucked the money away and he reached for my hand.
“Hey, Winter, look at me,” he said.
There was a moment between us. The two of us just staring at each other.
“I’m going to tell you something,” he said.
“Okay?”
He leaned toward me. “You started this. And there’s no going back now.”
I ripped my hand away.
He let out a laugh.
Deep within my chest there was an ache that I hated to admit and face.
The ache to feel cared for.