Fake Love - Jaxson Kidman Page 0,33

could appreciate so far about living with my mother, it was the view. It didn’t make up for anything she had ever done - or not done - in my life though.

But coffee in the morning while watching the ocean… that was nice.

It was always the calm before the storm.

The problem was I didn’t know what the storm was going to be.

It could have been my mother racing through the kitchen, yelling, barking orders, acting like her normal bitch self, before disappearing. It could have been… anything.

This morning, I drank my first cup of coffee in complete silence.

It was heaven.

When I went back inside the house, my mother leaned against the counter, looking tired and sad.

“Something wrong?” I asked.

“I need a cigarette and some dick,” she said.

I put my coffee cup down and gripped the edge of the counter. “Wow.”

“You asked,” she said.

“I didn’t know you smoked.”

“I don’t,” she said. “I quit when I was pregnant with you.” She looked at me. “I never picked the habit back up. But I still think about it every single day.”

I swallowed hard.

You did something good for me?

“Why don’t you start now?” I asked. “Who cares?”

My mother shrugged her shoulders. “Sometimes having everything you want in life gets boring. The constant need to want, want, want… it gets old. So I like to fuck shit up.”

“You mean by leaving your only daughter behind?” I asked.

My mother pushed from the counter. She sipped her coffee. “First off, fuck you.” She winked. “Second, don’t question me about my decisions.”

“You brought it up.”

“Actually, you did. You asked me what was wrong.”

True.

My mother sipped her coffee again. “Well, I can only have one of the two. You better leave soon unless you want to see your mother get spread out across this counter by some-”

“Stop,” I yelled.

I ran out of the kitchen as she laughed.

Note to Winter - never touch the kitchen counters ever again.

I shuddered at the idea that my mother’s sex life was so much more vibrant than mine. Being in this awkward world where I was a woman and had real needs versus these guys who were adults based on their age, but still liked to finger someone in the backseat of their car… it was terrible.

My mind then teased with an image of Talon.

I bet he knows what to do. Trocs know how to fuck. They know how to fuck the right way and they don’t look for anything in return.

My teeth chattered as I shook my head.

There was no way in hell anything with Talon could happen.

Bad enough he knew my secret.

This was business between him and I.

Simple as that.

I looked at myself in my bathroom mirror.

I pointed.

“Winter… it’s time to take a card from you mother’s book… it’s time to fuck shit up.”

Gia waited for me in the driveway and I told her I was going to drive to BFH myself.

She looked relieved when I told her.

She hugged me, which was kind of weird, and then she apologized.

“I have a thing,” she said. “I have private lessons and tutoring and stuff. So I kind of shouldn’t be anywhere else…”

“Then go home,” I said to her. “Look at me, you can’t mess up your life for me.”

“I said I would be there for you though,” she said.

“You have been. You’re a good friend. I mean it.”

“I kind of… suck at reading,” she said. “So I get extra help. It’s embarrassing.”

“No, it’s not. You’re working hard. That’s great.”

Gia shook her head. “I wish you could remember all the good stuff in your life, Winter. But I hope you never remember the bad. I like this version of you.”

“Thanks,” I said.

My heart hurt a little. And I hated myself a little.

“Are you running today?” I asked Gia.

“Of course. Today is intervals day.” She rolled her eyes. “I hate that. But I have to do it. If you need anything, you text me. Okay? You do not hesitate. You run out to your ride and just wait for me.”

I hugged her.

It was like we both needed someone to tell us it was going to be okay.

Except I was lying to her.

I had to shove that fact away for now.

Then I was off to BFH on my own.

Taking deep breaths as I drove Tank Two.

Thinking about what I wanted to do next.

I had to wait for Talon though. Pay him his fee and see where he wanted to go.

Smash some windshields? Blow up a car or two?

My mind danced everywhere.

I saw something from the side mirror.

When