Fake Friends - Saxon James Page 0,17

all organic.”

I gasp like she’s just told me she murdered someone last night. “You’re an abomination.”

Leita introduces me to her two friends while I duck my head under the stroller to see my nephew. His cheeks are bright, and he’s gnawing on some rubber thing like he’s determined to make it breakfast.

“He okay?” I ask.

“Teething.”

I nod like that explains so much. “Where are the other two?”

“Daycare. Today’s my free day.”

Since we were younger, Leita’s entire life goal was to become a mom and do all the Stepford Wives shit. Because of that, she refused point-blank to work at Harvey’s which meant Piper and I had to pick up the slack.

She and Piper have never gotten along, but some days I wish I could be more like Leita. She doesn’t care what anyone thinks of her.

“I’ll come around this week and take my nephew out. Then you’ll have an actual free day.”

“Perfect! I’m in desperate need of a workout.”

I laugh. “Why?”

“Because Laurie has worked all week, and the gym in Port Welling doesn’t have a childcare.”

I smile in pity, like I know all about it, and then glance over at the person coming out of the cafe.

As soon as he sees me, Circus pulls up short.

“Rowan.” He tilts his head my way and keeps walking.

I watch his back, focused on the dolphin-print shirt, fighting every stupid reason my brain comes up with to go over there.

I don’t want this to be it. I don’t want one scratchy, barely polite version of my name to be the last thing he says to me.

“Gotta go.” I duck down again to kiss my nephew on the foot, then jog after Circus, determined to catch him.

I’ve barely rounded the corner onto O’Connell Road, when I stumble to a stop. He’s right there leaning against the wall next to his bike, like he has all the time in the world.

“Ah, hey.” Not what I wanted to say to him, but he makes my brain stupid.

“Following me?” There’s the slightest teasing hint to his words that I’m not sure if I’m imagining.

“No, just … out for a jog.”

“Carry on, then.” He waves his hand the way I was headed, calling my bluff.

I’m about a second away from just leaving, when I remind myself I’m not chickenshit. “Actually, I wanted to know how the shots turned out.”

He narrows his eyes a little, and I know he doesn’t believe me, though I can’t imagine why when I literally pulled that from my ass. “Good.”

That’s all he’s giving me? Sheesh, don’t make it easy or anything. The conversation turns stale, and I know the smart thing to do would be to leave and put him behind me, but I don’t want to. Because with him, I’ve never done the smart thing.

All those Sundays in church when I should have been paying attention, all those years of high school where I should have been focusing on studying and playing ball, instead I was too busy working out how we could be friends.

And all those days during senior year where I should have been hanging out with the people I’d been close to for years, instead of sneaking off with the guy I couldn’t stop thinking about.

My issues ran a lot deeper then, but even now I’m struggling to accept who I am.

And if I’m still not ready to pursue something with a guy, I should keep running.

But Circus makes me want to be ready. He makes me want to beg him for another chance.

Even though I know he’ll never give it to me.

So instead of being smart, I ask, “Can I come see them?”

He scowls. “I told you I’d take your face out, and I have.”

“That’s not what I …” I shake my head. “I just want to see how they’ve turned out.”

I watch as his eyes slowly drop from my face, down my sweaty shirt to my legs, and a shiver rips down my spine. I’m expecting him to say he’ll send them to me or that I can wait until they’re online. So I’m caught off guard when he agrees.

“Tonight. Bring dinner with you.”

Then he grabs his bike, swings one leg over, and heads off down the street.

My hands are shaking.

I think of the implications of taking dinner to his house and being there alone while we look at photographic evidence of our day yesterday.

I’m getting ahead of myself.

Even if I was thrown into a porn-like situation with Circus, there’s no way I’d follow through with it.

I’d bet Circus