Fake Friends - Saxon James Page 0,13

this was my standard reaction to you.”

“Yeah, well, a lot has changed since then.”

“Are you dating anyone?”

“We’re working.”

“I’ll take that as a no.” I grin. “In which case, what’s a few boners amongst colleagues?”

“Inappropriate?”

“Eh. If you didn’t want it to happen, you wouldn’t have grinded up all over me. I’m repressed as fuck, what did you expect?”

Circus gives me a weird look, then gets up and throws a pair of board shorts my way. We both change, with my dying to take a peek, and then he grabs some camera equipment and gestures for me to follow.

I still can’t get over how enormous his house is. If I could dream up a mansion in the woods … well, okay, it wouldn’t have been this because I don’t have the imagination, but wow.

“I can’t believe you have this place all to yourself and I’m back in my childhood bedroom.”

“Yeah, it must suck to be surrounded by your family.”

I cringe at his words, wishing I could take everything back. While my biggest regret sits solidly with what I did to him, a very close second is not being there for him when his parents died. I know how close they all were because Mr. and Mrs. Atkins were gold-star parents.

I’m sure they knew about me. I’m sure they knew how I felt about Circus.

And I’d even put money down that when they saw his face and realized I’d ditched town, they would have known exactly what happened there too.

It makes me feel sick.

I want to give him a hug.

I don’t, but I want to.

“When did you build this place?”

“After I lost my parents in that crash.”

“What was the inspiration?”

He sets off across the lawn. “Big.”

“Wow, that’s deep.”

His lips twitch. “Come on, down here.”

I follow him down the gentle slope and through a thin line of trees to a creek. “What are we doing?”

“These photos are going to be more candid, natural ones. Just get in the water and do whatever. Try and keep your back to the camera where you can.”

Shouldn’t be a problem. Circus sets up the camera on a tripod, then takes some time to adjust settings or whatever he’s working on. None of it makes any sense to me.

I just look around and try to take in nature.

It’s not often I’m surrounded by this much quiet. Sunbury is a sleepy kinda town, but my house decidedly is not. Out here, I can hear myself think.

I guess I understand why Circus built his place out here.

The soft lap of waves against skin lets me know Circus has waded into the water behind me. I glance at him over my shoulder, trying to calm my racing heart. His board shorts barely cover his ass, and they’re in a bright tropical print, like most of the clothes he seems to wear these days.

When he gets close enough, I reach out and tug the chain dangling from his ear. “I like this.”

“Oh yeah?”

He turns his head to look across the creek and smiles wide. It takes me a moment to realize he’s posing for a shot, and I hurry to do the same. Then I decide to have fun with it.

I send a gush of water his way, then quickly dart back as he retaliates. He holds up a hand. “This is fine, but hair and makeup, remember?”

“Nothing above the shoulders.” I wink. “Got it.”

And even if it’s all for some photos, Circus lets himself have fun. His smile, the way his eyes light up, the way the sun slipping between the leaves plays over his skin, all make it impossible to look away.

I use every opportunity I can to get my hands on him.

And I give myself free rein to enjoy this for the day.

As he takes up a pose, holding on to my arm, I catch him around the waist and throw him over my shoulder instead. His skin smells like water and sunshine, and I wonder again what he tastes like.

It’s lucky we’re only doing this once because I’m quickly becoming as addicted to him as I used to be.

And I can’t let that happen.

I slowly set Circus down, loving the feel of his torso brushing mine, but even when his feet are on the creek bed, I can’t let him go.

My gaze settles on his nose, where I notice a bump about halfway. There’s my proof, then. The permanent reminder of what I did slices through my heart.

I lean down and press my lips to it.

Circus’s eyes fall closed