Brea.” Lochlan jerked her forward by her tether.
“Rude.” She climbed up in front of him, dreading another hot day riding far too close to her least favorite person.
“Take this.” He handed her a thick piece of rough-cut glass.
“What is it?”
“Crystalized sand. You’re going to practice while we ride today.”
“Magic? How?”
“Your magic is inside you. You need to find it and funnel it into the crystal. It will glow with the color of your magic when you do it right. This exercise will help you learn to sense your magic when it is close.”
“So, I just find my magic and use it to light up the crystal?” She turned to look up at him. “You do realize you’ve failed to explain how I’m supposed to accomplish that.”
“Focus on your emotions and feelings, and you will find it. This is an internal battle no one can do for you, Brea.”
“You’re just trying to keep me quiet,” Brea muttered.
“That is simply an added benefit of the exercise.” Lochlan nudged his horse forward across the rocky desert terrain.
Brea stared at the piece of crystalized sand for the first few miles, wondering how she was supposed to find her magic when she didn’t know where to look for it.
“You’re not trying, Brea,” Lochlan pressed.
“I’m trying to decide the best approach.” Brea closed her eyes, letting her thoughts drift over the frustrating events of the past weeks. She had good memories of her time in Gelsi, but that it was all a lie just made her angry, and anger didn’t seem to help her connect with her magic.
Instead, Brea focused on happier memories of Myles before all of this happened. But that just made her sad. Sadness didn’t seem to be a strong enough emotion to stir her magic.
“I feel like I’m trying to cast a patronus, and I don’t have enough happy memories to pull it off.”
“You’re not Harry Potter, Brea. This isn’t make-believe nonsense. Now, focus.” Lochlan pressed the glass into her hand and wrapped her fingers around it.
“Of course you’ve seen Harry Potter.”
“I have read Harry Potter. Human books fascinate me. You should try reading sometime. It’s a far better use of your time than mindless movies that never tell the whole story.”
“Myles used to say the same thing.”
It was the only thing they ever argued about. A smile came to Brea’s lips at the memory of all their stupid fights about nothing. Just knowing he was still out there living his life made her happy. She just wondered if he hated her. A surge of fear rose up inside her at that thought. She couldn’t bear it if he hated her for what she’d done to him.
“Brea, look.” Lochlan nudged her. She looked down at the crystal pulsing with a vivid yellow light before it winked out.
“I did it!” A grin spread across her face. “Myles is my patronus.”
“You didn’t do anything because you let it go before you took control.”
“That wasn’t just nothing. You don’t get to poop all over my success.”
Finn’s laughter rang out behind them. Lochlan-the-jerk-face had made him ride behind them today so he wouldn’t distract her.
“I don’t get to what?” Lochlan stilled behind her.
“You don’t get to poop on her success,” Finn supplied—for Lochlan and any of the soldiers who’d missed it the first time.
“That was not a success.”
“It was,” Brea insisted. “Now we know my magic is yellow.”
“Yes, we do.” Lochlan sighed. “What emotion filled you when the magic pulsed in the crystal?”
Brea didn’t want to tell him it was fear. She could only imagine how many ways he’d try to torture the magic out of her. “Happiness,” she finally said.
“Do not lie to me, Brea.”
“I’m not lying.”
“Yes, you are.”
“So, what do I do next time when the light pulses in the crystal?”
“Take control.”
“How?”
“Use your instincts, Brea.”
“What if I have no instincts?”
“Just try it again. And keep your eyes open this time.”
“Fine.” Brea stared down at the crystal in her lap and revisited some of the scariest moments of her trip through the swamp. The image of the alligator-dragon beast filled her mind. She conjured up every last harrowing detail she could recall right down to its creepy forked tongue.
The crystal glowed with a faint yellow light, and Brea focused harder, urging the light to shine brighter. Sweat beaded on her forehead and rolled down her face. Her hands shook with the effort to keep the yellow light from winking out. When she lost it, Brea cursed and chucked the crystal as far as she could