a restaurant. “But if you want a change, then just do it.”
“Just like that?” She settled on a stool, shaking her head. “Staying where I am and doing the same things I’ve always done is way less scary.”
“Life is supposed to be scary.” He filled an electric kettle and switched it on. “That’s how you know you’re living it.”
Ellie said, “I’m glad you and I have different definitions of scary. I don’t think I can handle what you can, Mr. Navy SEAL.”
“Seems to me like you handled yourself just fine. Things haven’t been easy, but you came through it. Right?”
Ellie ran her thumbnail along the cement between two counter tiles. “I didn’t fight him off. I just froze.”
“Did you see his face?”
She closed her eyes for a second. “He was wearing a mask. He grabbed my neck and shoved me back against the tree. I don’t know when I blacked out.” She shook her head. “He probably didn’t abduct me because he didn’t want to carry me, unconscious.”
Who knew all those squares of caramel chocolate would come in handy? For once she was glad she was too heavy to carry.
Dean said, “Good thing, since I got to do it instead.”
He’d carried her? She looked at his huge bicep muscles—which she’d been trying to avoid staring at so far. “But your shoulder.”
Dean set a steaming mug of tea in front of her. “Act now, worry later.”
“It’s the SEAL motto?”
He shook his head. “The SEAL motto is, ‘The only easy day was yesterday.’”
“That sounds awful.” Ellie sipped, looking around instead while he chuckled. Because she needed a second not thinking about that man if she was going to have to go over it multiple times. That was what happened before. Everyone wanted the story, and she wound up sick of talking about it.
Maybe that was why she’d quit therapy. There was nothing good about going over and over something, instead of just moving on from it.
“You counsel people.” She realized she’d said it aloud when he nodded. “What if someone just wants to forget what happened to them?”
“Depends.” He took a slow sip of his drink. “Are they self-destructing other parts of their life?”
“Like, is the trauma manifesting itself somewhere else? Drug addiction, or OCD.”
“Among other things, yeah.” He looked like she’d surprised him.
“Like the fear of change.” She swallowed. “Or pushing aside emotion—all emotion—in favor of logical judgment.”
Dean shrugged one shoulder, his expression soft. “The only person who can say what’s right for you, is you.”
Ellie continued her study of the room, processing what he’d said while she sipped her tea. It felt good on her throat. Which made her think of that man, squeezing her neck with his thick fingers. Some of the liquid got stuck. She coughed.
Dean started toward her.
She waved a hand. “I’m okay.”
She twisted again on the stool. Against the wall were huge couches with oversized, dark blue cushions that seemed to invite her to sink into them. Two lamps. A giant entertainment center with huge speakers. A huge dining table with mismatched chairs. On the wall was another map of the town.
She was seeing those everywhere right now.
Dean must have seen her studying it. He said, “The map was on the wall when we moved in. Along with a few other things. We think this was the first house in Last Chance, an old military training facility that was abandoned somewhere in history. Probably the fifties or sixties. After mapping out the rest of the town, they all built their property and moved out.”
“Wow.” She looked around more and saw a photo on the mantel. Ellie wandered to it. “Who are they?” Four men stood together, arms around each other. Dirty fatigues, sweat and black paint on their faces. All of them had huge rifles.
“Echo Team. They live here, but they’re off on a job right now.” Dean said, “I met them in Afghanistan, and I told them about Last Chance. They moved here before I even got out of the Navy. Asked if I wanted to live with them, and with me came Ted. Stuart showed up a few months ago. Even though my brother lives here too, there’s still there’s room for another half dozen people at least, so we’ve let Pastor Daniels know that it’s available and to send any guys who need a place to stay our way.”
“Like Maggie does with Hope Mansion?”
Dean nodded. She set the photo down and picked up a gold Christmas ornament that sat beside it, completely out